For those of a certain age (ie me), Friends is woven so tightly into our cultural tapestry that it’s hard to remember a time before it informed our daily conversation. Before we knew about counting “Mississippily”, or that a “moo point” was a cow’s opinion. A time when we could chew a piece of gum without calling it “perfection”.
Still, there’s a difference between your basic knowledge and the kind of advanced-level deep cuts that would win you the big apartment. For some of us, that dialogue is so ingrained that watching with the sound on isn’t even necessary any more.
It’s time to test your encyclopedic knowledge, beyond letter “V” (The One With the Cuffs … when Joey buys the “V” volume only for $50, but you knew that, right?). Here are 25 things you only know if you know Friends better than … well, your actual friends.
1. How to play the guitar, Phoebe-style
Though we still don’t know what sequence of Bear Claw, Turkey Leg and Old Lady makes up Smelly Cat.
2. How to relieve the pain of a jellyfish sting
The science may have since been debunked, but it’s still the, um, acid test of a good friendship.
3. How to make the ultimate turkey sandwich
No Boxing Day leftovers binge is complete without a “moist-maker”. But leave it unattended at your peril.
4. All the rules of Bamboozled
Keep your enemies close, and your wicked wango cards even closer.
5. There have been two Carols
If the Carol in the pilot looks a little different to the Carol of later seasons, it’s because she’s a whole different actor. So in a way, Ross has had four wives.
6. Gas is odourless. They add the smell in later
Though it still stinks less than Ross’s flirting techniques.
7. ‘Transponster’ is not a job title
But “Statistical analysis and data reconfiguration” wouldn’t look nearly as good on LinkedIn.
8. How not to get your shrunken leather trousers back on
Lotion + powder = paste, we know this now.
9. The world’s best cheesecake is made at Mama’s Little Bakery, Chicago IL
Although does it taste as good without the secret ingredient: crime?
10. How to spell ‘Mboscodictiasaur’
The silent “M” just seems so obvious now.
11. Come the apocalypse, we can all live on leg wax*
*But only if it’s organic.
12. There are seven main female erogenous zones
Though, of course, some of us are still trying to identify them all.
13. Who exactly Jill Goodacre is
But would you recognise her outside of an ATM vestibule? That’s the question.
14. Hair straighteners are just as capable of setting your apartment on fire as curling irons
“The Rachel” was a much safer hairstyle than Aniston’s character’s circa season six hairdo. At least for our homes, if not our self-esteem.
15. Which one of Joey’s sisters Chandler fooled around with
Mary Angela. No, wait, Mary Therese. No, wait, Mary Angela. Anyway, she had a red skirt.
16. The story of Hannukah (armadillo version)
So, wait, Superman didn’t fly all the Jewish people out of Egypt?
17. Exactly how a shepherd’s pie trifle tastes
Like feet. So that saves Britain’s maverick chefs a wasted experiment.
18. Y-o-u-apostrophe-r-e means ‘YOU ARE’. Y-o-u-r means ‘YOUR’
Forgive us if our grammar standards slip after 18 pages (front and back).
19. How to fell a ‘British’ rugby player
Kick him where it hurts! His dodgy accent.
20. ‘The routine’
Still being unleashed on wedding dancefloors across the land, Dick Clark’s New Year’s Rockin’ Eve didn’t know what a treasure it had. If only Jools Holland’s Hootenanny had background dancers.
21. Condoms only work, like, 97% of the time
Strange how Ross and Rachel hammered this fact home so much more effectively than a term’s worth of school sex education lessons.
22. What a bananahammock is
Not just a funny word, Princess Consuela.
23. How not to use a thesaurus
But hey, it’s a mistake any humid, pre-possessing homo sapien with a full-sized aortic pump could make.
24. How to end a relationship with dignity
We hear 15 Yemen Road, Yemen, is now a top-rated Airbnb.
25. How to end a relationship with zero dignity
They definitely weren’t on a break.
Didn’t remember some of these classic Friends moments? Then treat yourself – or a lucky friend – to the box set, and Friends will always be there for you.
