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Bored Panda
Bored Panda
Asli Akalin

23 Of The Most Entertaining ‘It Doesn’t Work Like That’ Stories, Told By Professionals In This Online Community

Article created by: Saulė Tolstych

Each era has its own folklore and its own myths. In the old days, these were mighty heroes and terrible monsters, then noble knights and beautiful princesses, cowboys shooting without a single miss, and bulletproof superheroes. The contemporary world also has its own myths, and moreover, we face them literally every day.

Ask any software engineer you know how many times in their lives they have been asked to fix a desktop - simply because they are "programmers". Or how many times an accountant - even if they have never dealt with a tax report in their entire professional career - receives requests from acquaintances to sort out their taxes?

Myths, myths and more myths surround literally every profession, and we create these myths ourselves. Just from watching a couple of James Bond films, we are sure that spies spend their lives doing nothing but driving around in luxury cars wearing insanely expensive suits. Just from watching a couple of children's films, we will strongly believe that the workers at the animal shelter have the most wonderful job in the world, as they pet doggos and kitties all day long.

The list is literally endless, and a popular thread starter in the AskReddit community recently helped us by asking people the question: "What's your profession's myth that you regularly need to explain 'It doesn't work like that' to people?" In just a few days, the thread has racked up 2.5K upvotes and over 3.8K comments, bringing together an incredible collection of today's mythology.

To make it easier for you to figure out all this abundance, Bored Panda has made a list of the most popular comments of the original thread. So now feel free to read stories on debunking modern myths, scroll to the very end, and if you have your own professional experience that can also dispel some myth literally in the wind, please be sure to tell us about it in the comments.

More info: Reddit

#1 Hospice Work And Treatment


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#2 Alleged Cruelty Of Pet Euthanasia










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#3 Defibrillators And Heart Restart







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#4 Antibiotics And Viral Diseases


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#5 Psychologists And Their Own Mental Problems


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#6 Pros And Cons Of Owning A Bookstore


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#7 Chefs And Cooking At Home






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#8 Shorter Railings And The Minimal Allowed Height


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#9 Teachers And Students' Learning


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#10 About "Utility-Persons" At The Hospital


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#11 Car Mechanics And Their Knowledge


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#12 Professional Writers And Fans With "A Book Idea"





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#13 Playing With Puppies And Kittens All Day Long


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#14 Working In Childcare And "Playing With Kids"


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#15 Computer Animation And Who Actually Does It


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#16 About "Skeleton Keys"


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#17 Journalists And That 'Off The Record' Phrase




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#18 What University Professors Do In Summer




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#19 What Are Tax Professionals Really For








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#20 How Those Salt Water Pools Are Actually Made


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#21 About Your Laptop Being In "Good Condition"


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#22 Hardware Stores And Their Storage


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#23 Setting Up Machines At The Factory


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Your terminally ill grandmother isn't "becoming addicted" to her pain medication. She's dying in as much comfort and with as much dignity as we can provide. Pet euthanasia. There is a wildly popular post that goes around about how pets dropped off for euthanasia “look around for their owners” and know they’ve been “abandoned”. It’s nonsense, and I will defend clients dropping off until I myself die. I’ve seen what happens when owners can’t say goodbye so they don’t. The animal suffers for days to weeks until their bodies finally give out. I have literally seen a dog rotting from the inside out, SOMEHOW still alive, but the owner couldn’t commit to euthanasia so she didn’t and that dog suffered tremendously for it. Everyone has boundaries to what they can handle. Requiring an otherwise loving, doting, and responsible owner to be present when it was all they could do to make the appointment doesn’t help pets the way you think it does. Furthermore, in the nine years I’ve worked in this industry, I have *never* experienced what is described in that post. Ever. And my colleagues overwhelmingly agree. We love on them and hug them, and tell them they’re a good boy until they pass. **By the logic in that post, you should also never drop off for sedated or anesthetic procedures either because the process begins the same way (with sedation). How is that pet to know that death is imminent? They don’t.** You’re projecting your emotions onto people who are already suffering, and you’re not helping pets by shaming owners, and my local, professional cohort overwhelmingly agrees. No Ma'am, we aren't going to 'shock' (defibrillate) your family member because their heart isn't actually beating. Defibrillators do not restart a heart, they reset a malfunctioning cardiac rhythm. If the heart isn't at least doing something then our options are CPR and meds until we get some kind of rhythm. Sincerely, Tired Medic Antibiotics don't work on viral diseases. Just because I’m a psychologist doesn’t mean I’m immune to psychological disorders or distress. I'm a retired used bookstore owner. People were always saying "Oh, I would love to own a bookstore. You can read all day.". Um, no. It's actually a lot of hard, physical work, (boxes of books are heavy), lots of bending and reaching. And then you get to clean the store and do the paperwork. Owning any retail store is not an easy job! Former pastry chef, and still work in a hotel. No I do not make amazing food at home. I barely survive on a diet of cereal, sandwiches and chocolate bars. Pot noodles if I’m feeling fancy. Also most people in the industry are either junkies or alcoholics to cope with the brutal schedule. My extended family still can’t fathom me working the amount out of hours a week I work. Also we do not enjoy weddings, they are fun to attend, but nothing but a headache to run. When I was building decks I remember a lot of people asked for shorter railings because it'd look nicer. I totally agree, but if 42" is the minimum in this state we're gonna do 42" Although I'm a skilled teacher the students need to do the learning. I can't do it for them. No doctor does all aspects of medicine and surgery.. it’s specialized and sub specialized. Obviously in more rural areas people do more, but for the most part, complex things get sent to very specialized folks and a doctor like House would never exist (and anyone who acted like him would be fired in about a week) Being a car machenic that specializes in a couple of cars. We dont know everything about how to fix the car out of our heads. we use youtube a lot to figure out stuf we dont know. "I have this great idea for a book. You write it, and we'll split the profits." Nope. That vet techs get to play with puppies and kittens all day. It’s a physically and mentally exhausting job. I work in childcare and no, I don’t just get to play all day and have fun. I have to deal with behavioral issues, developmental delays, diapers, injuries, curriculum, art projects, huge messes during mealtime, working with one other person to put 12+ toddlers down for nap, etc. Of course it’s fun at times but dealing with all of that is so stressful. Computer animation doesn’t mean the computer does the animation…I do. There are no skeleton keys. There is no "one key that fits all locks". There are master keys that have been painstakingly installed into a buildings locks, some of which might fit all the locks depending on that particular keys chosen mastering levels, but no. There is no skeleton key. I, a locksmith, use special tools to open locks. I have a big bag of them. Tools like picks, jiggle keys, bump keys 2in1 Lishi keys, and many more. Yes, I got into your house fast. That's because I know how your lock works and know how to defeat it. No I did not turn up with a working key (disclaimer: sometimes I do as I have codes recorded for places I've worked on and I can get codes from car dealers so I can make a key before I turn up.) Something being 'off the record'. If you're speaking to a journalist, you can't just say 'off the record' and then spill your guts. You need to have agreed with the journalist beforehand that you will not be quoted. University prof. I do not get summers off. Teaching in front of classes is only about 30% of my job. The rest is one-on-one supervision of graduate students. Doing research, writing grant applications, writing research papers. Summer is the time of year when I finally have the time to do all that other stuff. Tax professional. Most clients think that the best tax Pros necessarily get them bigger refunds. If you get a smaller refund in a particular year it may be because tax laws change, because you didn't pay in as much, or because you didn't have as many deductions. Explaining stuff to people doesn't work if their eyes are all glazed over because tax law discussions bore them Going to another tax Pro to get a bigger refund, thinking that that tax Pro is "better" may just get you an audit But the worst myth about taxes manifest itself when scammers call people on the phone climbing to be IRS agents. They tell folks that they owe money and that authorities are coming to their house to put them in jail if they don't pay up. The truth is that the real IRS does not call anyone on the phone unless they have contacted IRS first and are expecting them to return the call. IRS does not accuse you of text fraud. Even if they truly believe you have committed tax fraud they will simply send you a letter stating that they think you have underpaid your taxes. They will give you a chance to prove your case. If you don't do this or pay them what they say you owe, they will simply Levy your paycheck or your personal property. They do not show up at your house to put you in jail. So please if a scammer calls you do not give them your credit card information or give them payments in any form. Call the real IRS and report them. That converting to salt water pools does not ‘get rid of the chlorine’. Salt is sodium chloride, salt gets converted to chlorine in a salt water pool, and you use the exact same test kits to monitor the chlorine levels in the pool water. Just because your old technical device (laptop, tablet, phone) is in good condition, doesn't actually mean that it's any "good" today. I work in a hardware store and apparently people think we have a huge underground storage big enough to hide every product in existence. No, i can't just go and fetch a part for your 20 year old fireplace or power tool from the backroom. Factory worker here.. Once a machine is set up, it can run all day, perfectly, without adjustment. Nope. Steel can vary in hardness, even within a continuous coil of wire. Humidity, ambient temperature, tooling wear can also spoil parts.
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