Last December, in the "Time Before COVID-19", we had just decorated our Christmas tree, to the delight of one-year-old Elsie, when I saw the little plus-on-a-stick.
This Christmas, she's playing under the tree with her four-month-old brother, Otto. The pregnancy didn't come as a surprise. The pandemic, on the other hand, was not part of our plan.
I remember feeling apprehensive, reading the news about COVID-19's early days in Italy, its first stop in Europe. The word on the street was that it wouldn't come to Sweden (where we live) or, if it did, it wouldn't be so bad.
We had community spread a week or so later. We found out that partners would not be allowed at ultrasounds, midwife visits or in the postnatal recovery ward.
As the reality hit, so did panic about the pregnancy. I did my best to keep my fear of the future in check.
Soon, it was clear the restrictions would not be lifted by August, when I was due, and travel restrictions out of Australia meant my mother Sylvia couldn't come and support me as she had planned.
We quarantined and isolated with Felix's grandmother at her home in the countryside in order to protect our family while also getting live-in support with Elsie, who is a joy, but also a toddler.
We made arrangements to have a homebirth, which was no sacrifice at all.
The pandemic was the trigger I needed to justify the calm and empowering birth that I felt like I had not experienced the first time.
The homebirth turned out to be the best choice I could have made, giving me continuity of care from two beautiful midwives throughout pregnancy and even after the birth. This was particularly important to me given the gaps in care I received in the public service.
It hadn't been long since I'd been pregnant with Elsie, so I was confident in monitoring my own wellbeing with just a couple of ultrasounds and blood tests. I felt so lucky it wasn't my first pregnancy.
The months passed in our little bubble and I rode a roller-coaster of fear and excitement, despair and elation. Hormones and homesickness created a volatile soup of stress that I found hard to keep in check.
But one sunny day in August, painful surges had us packing Elsie off to my mother-in-law's for the night. Several magical, almost unbearably painful, hours later the five of us - three midwives, Felix and I - became six.
My beautiful, sticky little baby was whisked onto my chest.
Just like the first time, I couldn't believe it was really over, just half an hour into Tuesday morning, August 18.
Looking into the deep, blue eyes of this little person I had grown during a pandemic and birthed in my lounge room, all the fear and panic for the future transformed into a feeling of peace and completion.
The problems of the world melted away and everything was in its place.
I feel grateful to look back on 2020 not only as a year of grief, stress and upheaval, but as the year that my son completed our family.
I talked to 10 other families from my first home, Newcastle and the Hunter, about their experiences having babies in the much-maligned year of 2020.
Nathalie and Ben Levick
The Levicksof Cardiffwelcomed their son, Isaac Finn, into the world on July 12.
He was five months old when he finally saw his nurse's unmasked, smiling face.
Nathalie said the first impact of COVID-19 on her maternity care was fewer prenatal appointments, but when she was diagnosed with gestational diabetes at 27 weeks, things became a bit trickier.
She says learning to inject herself with insulin from a YouTube video was pretty upsetting.
"It's quite emotional having to inject your pregnant stomach when you've never done anything like that before."
Getting dosage instructions and healthcare information via phone and email wasn't just disappointing; it was dangerous. After overly generalised phone advice to up her insulin went wrong, Nathalie opted to pay for a private endocrinologist who was willing to see her face-to-face.
Antenatal classes and a baby shower via Zoom were the unfortunate reality of pregnancy during 2020 for Nathalie, but she says it wasn't all bad.
The country's isolation was an excuse to stay in the baby bubble.
"We could truly soak up all those precious newborn moments without feeling any pressure to be anywhere else," she says.
"In that sense it was the perfect time to have given birth.
"I think we will value the small things more and not take for granted the idea that things will always remain much the same as they always have.
"I think knowing the entire world can change in such a way and at such a rapid pace will make us more appreciative of our day-to-day freedoms.
"I hope we pass that newfound appreciation on to our 2020 babies."
Tori-Jane and Anthony Hales
The Hales of Rankin Park were joined by baby Alfie Eric on September 22, completing their family of 11.
Tori was also affected by gestational diabetes, and Alfie has a heart condition which further complicated the pregnancy, eventual induction and birth.
"The care I received at John Hunter Hospital was amazing but only because I was very high risk," she says.
She also had endocrinology appointments via Telehealth, and hospital policy meant Anthony couldn't attend appointments or ultrasounds which they both found hard.
When Tori was induced, Anthony wasn't allowed in the ward until labour was established.
Issues with Alfie's heart rate and a cord prolapse resulted in an emergency caesarean section which meant labour never was established, but Anthony was finally allowed in as a support person during the operation.
Tori says the experience was challenging.
"I do worry about the future. Everything seems so uncertain.
"Alfie completed our family though and I'd do it all again if I had to, but thankfully with my tubes being tied I won't ever have to."
Emily O'Sullivan
Emily O'Sullivan of Holmesville kept a pregnancy journal for her 2020 daughter Georgia.
"It went from being about morning sickness in October, finding out the gender in December, to side notes about no toilet paper in February," she says.
"The end of March and start of April is when it got scary."
Georgia made her appearance just 17 minutes after Emily stepped through hospital doors.
"She was rushed into NICU, I had a big bleed and couldn't get out of bed for four hours after the birth," says Emily.
But, she says, despite the trauma of the birth - not the waterbirth she had envisioned - the hospital staff's care and competence was comforting.
"Everything that happened from the moment the emergency buzzer got pressed could have been chaos, but it was a well-oiled machine," she says.
"Most importantly, they still found time to be empathetic with me and let me know that while my baby was having a little trouble, she was doing well. It was a far cry from the birth I wanted.
"But is there any other way for a 2020 baby to enter the world than by throwing away all my best-laid plans?"
Phoebe and Robert Hughes
Sidney was born on July 17, the first child of the Hughes family of Cooks Hill.
Pheobe says COVID-19 meant very little family and social interaction during the pregnancy and newborn stage.
"Robert and I we were used to being out and about and social and found this difficult.
"COVID-19 was hard for everybody in this way. I would say that 2020 was the year that our friends become part of our support system and family.
"I had aunties and uncles drop off goodies throughout the pregnancy with some socially distanced doorway bump reveals, which was a highlight."
And there were other bright sides for the couple.
Robert is a fly-in, fly-out worker based in Queensland. COVID-19 meant he worked from home until Sidney was five months old.
"Robert has only had one week off work since Sidney's birth but has managed to stay right by our side," Pheobe says.
"I feel COVID-19 has had some positive effects on the environment and for these beautiful babies' sake I hope we can keep it up in the future."
Michelle Lacopo and Travis Pack
Michelle Lacopo andTravis Pack of New Lambton met their son, Ezra, on July 18.
"As a first-time mum I was already anxious and trying to learn all I could before he came into the world," says Michelle.
"In February and March the pandemic just threw me. I was terrified because there wasn't a lot of knowledge on COVID-19. I was checking CDC (The Centers for Disease Control and Prevention) and the WHO (World Health Organisation) websites constantly.
"When the country started shutting down it became really scary for us. I was scared I wasn't going to meet Ezra or if anything happened at birth he would have to stay in hospital alone."
She was also afraid she might not be able to have her partner with her during birth and found the lack of face-to-face classes for first-time mums difficult.
She says she was lonely for a few weeks until she found a mothers' group.
"The ladies there are all first-time mums and, as unfortunate as it was, it was nice to hear we weren't alone with our fears and difficulties."
Restrictions on interstate movement have meant five-month-old Ezra hasn't met some of his family including godparents from Queensland.
Michelle says the couple want a second child but wanted to wait for less uncertain times before trying to fall pregnant after the stress of having a baby during a pandemic, unsure if everything might change overnight.
Teighan and Leandro Laino
Teighan andLeandro Laino of Hamilton welcomed their second child, Valentina Mae Laino, to the family on September 14, 2020.
Teighan says she experienced inferior antenatal care due to the pandemic.
"I can say that because it was an incredibly different experience to what I had with my first baby in 2018. Appointments were few and far between.
"They always wanted to offer Skype appointments which seems ridiculous to me. How can you check a mother's blood pressure or a baby's heart rate over Skype? There was no consistency in midwifery care.
"The stress of not knowing if you could have support people weighed heavily on me.
"People were still allowed in pubs or in schools, even visitors were allowed into other hospital wards yet a labouring mother's support was viewed as less important."
She says that despite her concerns, the care she received at the John Hunter Hospital during and after labour was "really wonderful".
Skye and Jason Snowden
Baby Elliot's birthday was dramatic even by 2020 standards.
Parents Skye and Jason Snowden of Aberdare were sent home mid-labour by a training doctor.
Skye says she had no medical support whatsoever during Elliot's birth.
"The ambulance turned up just after he was born so my partner delivered him all on his own.
"Lucky I wasn't a first-time mum because the whole experience would have been traumatic.
"I am just disappointed with the care I received this time around. I get COVID-19 is a health risk, but you would think you would receive extra care because of it."
She says she felt every appointment was rushed and she hadn't really been listened to.
Though she found wearing masks uncomfortable and was frustrated that partners weren't allowed to be present at appointments and ultrasounds, being pregnant during the pandemic hadn't really changed her mindset.
"Would we have waited if we had known what was about to happen? Maybe, but at the end of the day he is here, happy and healthy."
Ashleigh and Ben Murray
Ashleigh and Ben Murray of Kotara South met their first child, Banks, on February 17, right at the start of the pandemic.
Ashleigh says she was grateful the hospital didn't have any visitor restrictions or mask-wearing requirements at the time.
A six-week recovery from her emergency caesarean was followed by lockdown.
"It was a pretty weird time," she says. "I remember being told that baby Panadol had run out. And I was finding it difficult to buy Banks' nappies and toilet paper.
"Never in my life did I think I would have to stress about that.
She says she felt more isolated than she expected to, which she chalks up to the pandemic.
"I'd envisaged maternity leave as having coffee and park dates with my other mum friends," she says.
Instead, Ashleigh spent the early days counting visitors on a rotating roster to avoid breaking COVID-19 restrictions.
She also said that having to take Banks to healthcare checks alone without her husband's support had been "really difficult".
With Banks' first birthday around the corner, Ashleigh says she's sad a lot of friends and family still haven't met her.
Dorota and Tony Bragg
Dorota and Tony Bragg of Thornton had their second child, Helena, on February 28.
Dorota said the toilet paper shortages started around the time they came back from the hospital.
"When Helena was about two weeks old, COVID-19 was declared a pandemic.
"When the number of cases was growing and the gruesome news started coming from Europe about thousands of people dying every day, my main point of anxiety was my girls.
"I also worried about my family and friends back in Poland where I come from."
But she says they had things to feel grateful for.
"Our family was among the lucky ones who were not affected by job loss," she says.
"My husband working from home meant that I had a pair of hands to hold Helena when I needed a shower.
"By the time we could have visitors, Helena was three months old, which was a blessing in disguise."
But, like others with family overseas, Helena said it was heartbreaking when her parents had to cancel their planned visit to Australia. It would have been their first visit together since Dorota moved to Australia in 2014.
Priscilla and Joshua Haskew
Priscilla and Joshua Haskew of Edgeworth had their first child, Vinicius Ferreira, on July 5. He has not yet met his maternal grandparents.
Priscilla is from Brazil and had been looking forward to a visit from her parents for support during her pregnancy, but COVID-19 meant they had to cancel their trip.
Around the time Australia locked down, Joshua was stood down at work, meaning the family had to rely on Priscilla's aged care role to support them.
"I felt that COVID-19 took away my time to enjoy my pregnancy with my friends and family both here and from Brazil," she says. "I was constantly working."
She didn't go grocery shopping for fear of getting sick, and missed out on her baby shower.
"I think that was one of the harder things for me because I could not enjoy it with everyone and I will not get the time back," Priscilla says.
"COVID-19 also took away my husband's chance to be with me for some appointments and, as his first son, he wanted to be part of everything."
She says her son, now five months old, is frightened of being held by others due to a lack of social contact when he was younger.
"I really hope 2021 will be a better year and my baby can meet his family in Brazil soon and my sister in Norway. I just want to say to every mum in 2020: you are the best and you are not alone."
