John Thomson
What’s Your Poison? It’s a gameshow. Each contestant is given three dishes to taste, in one of which is secretly concealed an ingredient they’re allergic to. They face a series of general-knowledge questions and the more they get right, the less likely it is that they get that dish to eat. Then they go home; not in an ambulance.
Iwan Rheon
A really cool remake of [cartoon series] Thundercats. You could make it a Game Of Thrones-style saga. Make it epic. Obviously I’m Lion-O. Maybe I could play Mumm-Ra as well. Or just play every character. So Thundercats with me playing every part… except for Snarf, played by Alfie Allen.
Yvette Fielding
It stars myself, and Johnny Depp would be my sidekick. I love everything strange and weird and I think Johnny Depp does, too. So I’d love for us to go in search of James Dean’s car. Apparently, it’s haunted. And also a show where I play the Young Miss Marple and Johnny Depp plays Mr Stringer. And me and Johnny Depp do a pawn show… just me and Johnny Depp, really. You get the picture.
Jedward
Copyright this: a TV show where people take pictures all around the world, and at the end they would be judged by Kanye. We have other ideas but they’re not the Guardian’s kind of shows, they’re more ITV. Like one where you’re in an elevator in a skyscraper and you go on dates, and you get higher up the skyscraper as you go. And if you want to stop the date you press the emergency-stop button. Or one called Backstabber, where you put your friends in scenarios, and see who your true friend is. Or one where you put fake scenarios on where the world’s about to end and get people’s funny reactions.
Nick Helm
[Ash vs Evil Dead star] Bruce Campbell Walking Around The Brecon Beacons With A Chainsaw. He’s entertaining ladies, with no money and no shelter and no food. He’s got to survive on his natural charm. He’d be a millionaire by the end of episode one.
Lennie James
You know in Face/Off when they put the headphones on the boy and have a massive shootout and everybody’s dying all around him while he’s listening to Somewhere Over The Rainbow? I’d like to see what happens to that boy. I’d like to see a show that depicted how he grew up, and who he ended up being. I’m less interested in Nic Cage and John Travolta and whether they got their faces back.
Philomena Cunk
SuperSteptoe & SuperSon. It’s about an old man and a really old man who live in a tip and they’ve got superpowers, like they can move vases using their minds. It’s based on a dream I had when I was in hospital with my tonsils.
Nick The Stick
No. Think of your own.
