The immigrant swamp that never happened
It was New Year’s Day. Politicians and journalists gathered in Luton airport – and waited. “Sold out! Flights and buses full as Romanians and Bulgarians head for the UK”, the Daily Mail had forecast. “A TIDAL wave of Romanian and Bulgarian immigrants is threatening to swamp Britain”, predicted the Sun.
Yet there, at the arrivals lounge, stood Keith Vaz, chairman of the home affairs select committee, and Mark Reckless – who was then a Tory MP – waiting for the arrival of millions of unemployed Romanians.
It was embarrassing to say the least and Ion Jinga, Romania’s ambassador to the UK, mocked the “alarmist” reaction, likening it to Samuel Beckett’s Waiting for Godot. It kicked off a year of political gaffes and photo opportunities gone wrong.
David Cameron’s statesmanlike tweeting
In March, Russia began to use force to protect interests in Ukraine. And there’s nothing more statesmanlike than a British prime minister tweeting a serious picture of himself on the phone to the US president during an international emergency.
Solving the world’s problems part one:
I've been speaking to @BarackObama about the situation in Ukraine. We are united in condemnation of Russia's actions. pic.twitter.com/7Rk2k8iOIK
— David Cameron (@David_Cameron) March 5, 2014
The tweet was parodied by celebrities who tweeted how they were also joining in the conversation. Enter veteran Hollywood star Sir Patrick Stewart, who posted a selfie of himself on the line to the prime minister and president – yet swapping the phone for some wet wipes.
David Cameron responded directly to Sir Patrick Stewart’s twitter quip. Here’s solving global issues of the day part two:
@SirPatStew Talking to another US President, this time face to face, not on the phone. pic.twitter.com/XoCGACu2nD
— David Cameron (@David_Cameron) March 7, 2014
Creme eggs, goats and rubber ducks – the whimsical twitter-feed of Gerry Adams
A morning selfie with Jenny. Or as she says a goatie with Gerry. Maidin maith daoibh pic.twitter.com/VLF9kjqb33
— Gerry Adams (@GerryAdamsSF) August 20, 2014
We learnt this year that the leader of Sinn Féin has an intriguing and eccentric twitter-feed. Gerry Adams the Irish republican leader began “twittering” – as he calls it – about the adventures of his teddy bear, luminous rubber ducks, and sweets. We were even treated to this selfie with a goat.
Local and Euro elections: Ukip make huge gains
It was the final national elections before the 2015 general election and in a warning to the established parties, Ukip won 28% of the poll. That is a near doubling of the 16.5% it secured in the last European elections in 2009, although Ukip didn’t do well in London. The image of the election was Ukip leader, Nigel Farage, swigging his beer.
Ice-bucket challenge
From George Bush to the Cookie Monster, politicians and celebrities around the world poured ice water over themselves to raise money for motor neurone disease. The #IceBucketChallenge was trending in August this year, and Westminster politicians made sure they got in on the action, including Labour’s young gun Chuka Umunna, MP for Streatham.
Politicians v journalists football match
It wouldn’t be conference season without the annual politicians v reporters fundraising football match. However Ed Balls, the shadow chancellor, sometimes known as a political bruiser, left an opponent bloodied, when his elbow left a gash under a reporter’s right eye. Rob Merrick, Northern echo political correspondent, dealt with the injury Terry Butcher-style, by playing on stoically. He went on to be named man-of-the match and his team beat the politicians 3-1.
Nick Clegg’s liberal wardrobe
In a feat rivalling singer Nicki Manaj at an award ceremony, Nick Clegg the deputy prime minister had at least four outfit changes in one day at the Liberal Democrat autumn conference. He also appeared on stage during a question and answer session wearing a dark shirt and blue-grey trousers, instead of a traditional suit. Lobby journalists were left distracted.
Who is Gareth though?
That's Gareth, back left RT @pimterry: Ed Miliband happened to stop by the annual @SoftwireUK picnic. As you do. pic.twitter.com/YAN81vjzLU
— Softwire Technology (@SoftwireUK) September 23, 2014
Ed Miliband gave his conference speech without using notes, only to forget a few key paragraphs about the fiscal deficit. But the question on people’s minds was “who is Gareth?” with #Gareth trending on twitter, after the leader of the opposition name-checked him a few times as someone who inspired his policies.
It turned out that Gareth Edwards, a former Liberal Democrat supporter now considering switching to Labour and who worked at a software company, was indeed a real person.
When the Saltire flag raised above Downing Street fell down
It was nine days before the Scottish independence referendum and David Cameron wanted to show Scots some Westminster love, so the Saltire was hoisted above Number 10 Downing Street in a symbolic gesture … only to fall down back on the roof. Once it was up, the blue and white flag managed a faint flutter.
There was a Ukip Calypso song
Yes it’s true, someone thought a Ukip calypso themed song sung in a fake Caribbean accent, with lyrics about “open borders” and “illegal immigrants in every town” was a good idea. Former Radio 1 DJ Mike Read apologised about his song. “It was never meant to be remotely racist,” he said. “It’s an old-fashioned political satire … you can’t sing a calypso with a Surrey accent.” If you say so.
Cameron conference rap
David Cameron took to the stage in Birmingham to deliver his final party conference speech before the general election. But the story of the day was the Cameron Conference Rap, released by audio specialist Cassetteboy, on the very day it became legal to rearrange copyrighted films, TV shows or songs.
The masterpiece cuts David Cameron’s party conference speeches to Eminem’s 2002 track Lose Yourself. The prime minister can be heard rhyming “I’m hardcore and I know the score” with “I am disgusted by the poor” followed by “I’ve made sure we’re ready for class war.”
Gove in the garden
In what is one of the most peculiar videos of last year, Michael Gove, the government chief whip, stars in a short film – Gove in the Garden – shot by the climate change sceptic James Delingpole.
Gove, wearing a lilac jumper, is taking a ramble in the countryside. The film then breaks abruptly to Gove, who quickly uncrosses his arms and thrusts his hands into his pockets and states: “My favourite character in Game of Thrones is undoubtedly Tyrion Lannister”, who he describes as a “misshapen dwarf”. He then ends by quoting the words of wartime prime minister Winston Churchill: “Never, never, never surrender”.
Westminster dog show
One of the most important days in the political calendar is of course the Westminster dog show. There were pugs dressed as bride and groom, an assault course and the most serious of judging. In the end Diesel the alsatian won. Rob Flello the Labour MP for Stoke-on-Trent South was a very happy owner indeed.
Emily Thornberry and that white van tweet
The story was meant to be about another Tory defecting to Ukip and winning a seat in parliament. But rather too many of the headlines following the Rochester and Strood byelection - from Labour’s point of view at least - were about this photograph tweeted by Emily Thornbury, Labour MP for Islington south and Finsbury, with the caption “image from #Rochester”.
To some people, this was a classic example of liberal Islington elite sneering, despite Thornberry herself being brought up in a council house. It seemed to be an anthropological tweet of sorts, as if to say here is the white van man in his natural habitat.
Thornbury’s subsequent resignation ensured that this became the story of the day.
This is what a feminist looks like
What does a feminist look like in 2014? Well, it’s a greying politician wearing a grey T-shirt emblazoned with, “this is what a feminist looks like”. Ed Miliband and Nick Clegg wore the Fawcett Society T-shirt sold in middle-class retailer of choice Whistles for £45. Harman, the Labour deputy leader, even wore one during prime minister’s questions but David Cameron refused to join in.
Myleene Klass ‘goes full Paxman’ on Miliband
The Labour leader was left speechless when millionaire former popstar Myleene Klass called his plan to impose a levy on £2m-plus homes “disturbing”, and said the “sexy tax” would hit “little grannies”. According to Klass, the mansion tax threshold would only buy a garage. She added, “you may as well just tax me on this glass of water. You can’t just point at things and tax them.” Because mansions and water are comparable of course.
Cameron introduces political masosadism to the house
The prime minister’s questions before the autumn statement was meant to be business as usual. But David Cameron accused Ed Balls of “political masosadism”, when he meant to say masochism, and it led to a raucous reaction in the Commons. The prime minister added: “Normally the shadow chancellor likes to dish it out but he can’t take it, but after this quote I think he obviously quite likes taking it as well, so there we are.”
Lords say no to cheaper vintage
It turns out that when it comes to the bubbly stuff for the Lords, any old vintage will not do. We learnt that a proposal to save taxpayers money by making peers and MPs share a catering department was rejected “because the Lords feared that the quality of champagne would not be as good if they chose a joint service”. The House of Lords has a £1.3m annual catering budget, and has bought in more than 17,000 bottles of champagne since the coalition took office. It’s enough to give each peer just over five bottles every year, at a cost of £265,770.
Brown bows out
It’s the end of an era, as Gordon Brown, the former British prime minister, announced he was to stand down as an MP at the next election. He was chancellor for a decade during Tony Blair’s premiership and has been an MP since 1983. He’ll be remembered as a political bruiser, saying that he was “saving the world” during the economic crash, for the iconic scene of leaving 10 Downing Street with his family, and for his key speech during the Scottish Independence referendum.
Happy Christmas from George Osborne
‘Tis the season to be jolly and the chancellor, George Osborne, could not contain his joy meeting young carol singers at 11 Downing Street. Or perhaps he’s just had a lot of sugar.
