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The Guardian - UK
The Guardian - UK
World
Matthew Harwood

2007's scoundrels

From the Beast, take a gaze at the 50 most loathsome people in America, 2007 edition.

Always hilarious, at times just plain wrong, four of our present presidential wannabes find themselves on the list. While Romney, Giuliani and Clinton find themselves skewered, nothing is better than how hurtful those beasts are to Huckabee.

Charges: What's worse, a calculating politician pretending to be a devout Christian, or a genuine heartland preacher who didn't come from no monkey? Huckabee is both - a Southern Baptist who rejects Darwin, wants to give everyone a gun and thinks people with Aids should be quarantined, and a seedy, corrupt politician who's never seen a payoff so low he won't stoop to pick it up. Democrats see Huckabee as easily defeated in a general election, but they shouldn't be so sure - smooth talking preachers tend to do well in this country. Huckabee is well-spoken, kind-faced, and the opposite of wordly - he's Obama for hicks.

Exhibit A: "I got into politics because I knew government didn't have the real answers, that the real answers lie in accepting Jesus Christ into our lives... I hope we answer the alarm clock and take this nation back for Christ."

Sentence: Just as he's about to win the GOP nomination, a freak gust of wind catches Huckabee's excess skin and carries him out over the Atlantic, where he drifts for hours before God appears to him, tells him He's a Unitarian, and sends him to hell.



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