Most parents push their kids to aim higher — work more hours, earn more money, and keep more of it. But for one 20-year-old caller from Los Angeles, a better-paying job was a threat to the status quo at home.
When "Courage" called "The Dave Ramsey Show," he explained that he was working for $15 an hour, "under the table," because his mother demanded it. Her reasoning was blunt — the family received government aid, including food stamps, and being paid off the books kept them eligible.
The problem wasn't just that she blocked him from taking a legitimate $25-an-hour payroll position. Courage also revealed, almost casually, that his mom takes about 80% of his pay. He justified it as rent since he lived in her house, but the casual delivery made it clear he didn't see it as the main problem.
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Anthony O'Neal, Dave Ramsey's co-host, was the first to call it what it was: selfish. "It's selfish for your mom to force this kind of demand on you when you're trying to establish yourself in life as a young man," O'Neal told him.
Ramsey then took over — and didn't hold back. "I don't want to be mean, but you need to hear this real loud and clear — because it's hard to insult a guy's mama — but your mama is out of control," he said. "Nobody takes 80% of their 20-year-old's money and takes government assistance. This woman takes and takes and takes. She doesn't give anything. You need to love her from more of a distance."
The advice wasn't just about calling out the behavior — it came with a plan. Ramsey walked Courage through the steps:
- Crash on a friend's couch for a month.
- Take the $25-an-hour job immediately.
- Keep every dollar during that first month out of the house.
- Find a roommate so rent doesn't eat his entire paycheck.
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At 60 hours a week on the higher wage, Ramsey pointed out, Courage could quickly build a pile of savings. And, Ramsey added, "The number of times I took 80% of my kids' money when they were 20? Zero."
The conversation also took a moral turn. Ramsey referenced research from Tom Stanley's book, "The Millionaire Mind," noting that among people worth $10 million or more, the most common trait was integrity. "Taking money under the table so that you illegally get government assistance is not integrity, sir," he told Courage.
Ramsey acknowledged that leaving home would be hard — the emotional conflict, the disapproval, the pressure to stay. "This is going to require courage on your part — no pun intended — but you can do it," he said. "These things do not end well… endure the pain now."
Anthony O'Neal added a prediction meant to soften the blow: she would likely "come back around" eventually — especially when she wanted money again.
Supporting your kids means letting them keep their hard-earned money and build their own future, not controlling their earnings to protect your benefits. For Courage, Ramsey's advice was a lifeline — take the legitimate job, get out from under the table, keep your pay, and start living the name he was given.
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