You’ll have your friends roaring with laughter... maybe
(Picture: Panitan Punpuang)At Indy100, we appreciate the components of a good joke. Don’t get us wrong, while we’re suckers for a good pun - as any peek at our homepage will show - there’s a certain kind of satisfaction that comes with understanding a complex witticism.
You’re either left with an immediate sense of accomplishment or... you’re left scratching your head. We prefer to be among the former.
From art to literature to music, we compiled a list of the most clever quips only the most intelligent individuals would appreciate. Feel free to take credit for them. We won’t judge you.
Being that the three men are logicians, their entire mentality is based off solid reasoning and truth. You can say yes to the bartender only if you’re certain all three individuals want a beer. You can say no if either of them do not want a beer. The first man wants a beer. However, since he’e uncertain if the others want a beer he says, “I don’t know.” Same reasoning for the second man.
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The third guy knows he wants a beer and that his friends want one as well, or, they would have said ‘no’ (i.e - no we don’t want 3 beers.)
Those who study music, will appreciate this one. C, Eb, and G are the musical notes that constitute a C-minor chord.
This one is for all the bio nerds out there. To understand this joke, you first have to understand what mitosis is. Mitosis is the cell division that results in two daughter cells each having the same number of chromosomes as the parent nucleus.
Look up the definition of ignorance and apathy and you’ll immediately understand the crux of the joke.
Similar to the elephant joke, this joke centers around the Surrealism art movement, which focused heavily around creating weird, illogical art. If this joke makes no sense to you, that’s intentional. In itself, the joke can be considered surrealist.
This one is for all the chemists out there. Hydrogen atoms are positive ions that consist of a proton in the nucleus surrounded by one electron.
This one takes a bit of math to figure out. Let’s say the house = 0.
2 people walk in....2+0=2
3 people walk out.
Since there were only 2 people in the house, and 3 walked out, that means the house now equals minus one. So if one more person walks in the house.... -1+1=0. The house is now empty again.
A gigabyte is a measure of data equal to 1,024 MB. Because the band is only 1,023 MB, they haven’t had any “gigs” yet. Get it?
This joke centers Werner Heisenberg, who was a German physicist. He was among the key figures in quantum theory -- a theory of matter and energy based on the concept of quanta. His famous “Heisenberg Uncertainty Principle” argues that while we can know where a quantum particle is or how fast it’s moving, yet it’s impossible to know both at the same time.
This one doesn’t require and answer because a rhetorical question doesn’t require a direct answer. He-he.
Individuals well-acquainted with Karl Marx’s theories about economics, politics, and society will appreciate the humor in this one. The sociologist was clearly asking the other, “Have you read Marx?” The other sociologist perceived it as, “Have you red marks?”
When you put into consideration how wicker chairs are the most uncomfortable pieces of furniture, it makes total sense.
Cicero was known for his ornate style of oratory which involved long periodical sentences. Cicero’s long sentences and fondness for delaying the verb for emphasis takes him longer to come up with a reply.
When separated, “yeah” and “right” are considered words of confirmation. However, placed side by side, the two instantly take on a sarcastic connotation.
In chemistry, a photon is a particle of light. Get it?
If you immediately understood this joke upon reading it -- kudos -- you understand the gender pay gap and the sexist representation behind it. It’s 2021 and women STILL make 82 cents for every dollar earned by a man. While there’s nothing comical about the subject matter, you have to admire the intellect of the joke.
Kleptomaniacs have an impulse control disorder that results in an irresistible urge to steal. If you tell a joke to them, they’ll take it...literally. Get it?
This one is for all the grammar lovers out there. A logophile is an individual who loves words. The customary way to comfort someone is to pat their back while saying, “there, there, there.” This joke makes a pun out of the commonly misspelled “their, there, and they’re.” Any logophile would be comforted at the proper use and spelling of each.
A statisticians is a person who works with theoretical or applied statistics. They often spend their time calculating averages. In math, +5 and -5 averages out to zero. The crux of the joke is the statistician took the average of both shots and assumed they hit the target.
Skilled engineers will definitely rejoice at the punchline of this one. This joke involves two number systems known as Octal and Decimal. Octal 31 (often abbreviated to Oct. 31) is equal to Decimal 25 (or Dec. 25), and vice versa. Because they can resemble month abbreviations, it often looks like this Oct. 31 = Dec. 25.
This is a side-splitter for the classicists among us. Anyone who’s read Homer’s The Odyssey will know that, when asked his name by the monstrous cyclops Polyphemus, our hero Odysseus responds: “Outis”, which in Greek means “nobody” (the Latin translation “Nemo” is also commonly referenced in the telling of the story). Later, when Odysseus blinds his giant foe with a wooden stake, a fellow asks Polyphemus to name the culprit. He cries repeatedly: “Nobody!” So yeah, he’s not a fan.
