Just now, it seems we could all use some reasons to be cheerful. I would have borrowed Ian Dury and the Blockheads, only the line about “the working folly” suddenly feels contentious. But Dury was right: even in the murkiest of times, while the country lurches into an uncertain future and our governance falls apart like wet tissue, there is always something good to hold on to. It’s like being a mouse adrift in a sea of sewage and finding a toilet roll to use as a life raft.
Once upon a time, back when summer meant wearing hotpants until October and frying an egg on the pavement for lols, we might have used the weather to lift our spirits. That would be the British thing to do. But since June is damply determined to present more pathetic fallacy than a set of GCSE Eng Lit papers, we’re going to need a cheer-up Plan B.
So let’s find some good news. Good news to break up the endless reams of your Uncle Reg’s six-paragraph “I don’t usually do politics on Facebook BUT” hot takes. Good news to drown out my own personal Brexit spectre, the voice of Kelsey Grammer as Frasier singing “Britain. Has. Left the building.” on a nightmarish loop. Good news, to convince us that there is still enough love left in the world to eventually suffocate all the hate in its soft, bosomy embrace. Chin up, everyone. We can still have nice things.
1. The police officers who proposed to their boyfriends at London Pride
In a dark time for the LGBT community, Saturday’s London Pride celebrations became a beautiful, rainbow-striped beacon of hope – especially the two police officers who chose to propose to their boyfriends in front of the cheering crowds, and reminded the world that love wins. Hard for anyone planning a more lacklustre proposal, who probably had to go out and buy an emergency confetti cannon.
2. Marcus Willis, the Wimbledon wild card and underdog hero in the making
Just months after nearly giving up professional tennis, the 25-year-old, ranked 772nd in the world, beat Lithuanian Ricardas Berankis in straight sets yesterday – a shock victory that gives fresh hope to everyone who still dares to dream they can make it big in the sporting arena. Or leave Slough.
3. You probably had your best night’s sleep last night, says science
Tuesdays don’t have much to boast about. But perhaps that’s what’s sending us to sleep. Lower stress levels and less rich food means we’re getting our best quality shut-eye on the most boring day of the week, according to Finnish sleep researchers – so don’t feel too guilty about flaking out on those dinner plans.
4. You can sing happy birthday for free again!
Quick, fetch a Colin the Caterpillar cake and let’s celebrate. A judge has approved a settlement with publishers Warner/Chappell Music Inc, who have been claiming royalties on the happy birthday song for more than 20 years – despite not actually owning rights to the lyrics. “Lyrics”.
5. This incredible speech from Jesse Williams
While we were watching politicians fumble for words, the Grey’s Anatomy star and civil rights activist was delivering a barnstormer of an acceptance speech at the Black Entertainment Television awards on Sunday night – powerfully addressing white privilege, police killings and cultural appropriation in a rallying cry to put racism back at the top of America’s agenda. Lump-in-throat stuff.
6. Iceland’s football coach is a part-time dentist
His name is Heimir Hallgrimsson, and he usually works on a tiny island surrounded by puffins. Meanwhile goalkeeper Hannes Halldorsson is a former film director. And 10% of the country’s whole population pitched up to watch the team in the Euros – with even more hoping to fly over before Sunday’s match against Paris. The more we learn about Iceland, the harder it is to care that they made us look like a load of frozen turkeys.
7. Also, this perfect tweet
Iceland 2 Poundland 1.
— Jim Daly (@jimdalycomedy) June 27, 2016
We will seek solace in cut-price Viennetta, while we still can.
8. John Oliver perfectly summed up the mood on Brexit
One good thing about the referendum being over is that we can now watch the Brit comedian abroad John Oliver deliver his blissfully scathing takedown of the result on Last Week Tonight. Of course, that Oliver isn’t to be confused with Jamie Oliver, who presented his own take on the situation by trying to make the hashtag #BuggerOffBoris happen. And why not? It worked with Turkey Twizzlers.
9. A parrot could be a witness in a murder trial
OK, nothing involving a murder trial can really be classed as “good” news… But let’s just imagine for a moment if the parrot got its own cop show. Maybe he’d team up with a renegade racoon to fight crime. Imagine.
10. Hillary Clinton and Elizabeth Warren shared a stage
There’s no glitch in the matrix – you really are looking at two women sharing one political stage – and they’re taking names, not notes. Warren joined Clinton in Ohio on Monday, teaming up for a takedown of “small, insecure money-grubber” Donald Trump and sparking hope in many quarters that the progressive senator could become Clinton’s running mate. A big moment for equality, and fans of blue blazers everywhere.
11. The Winds of Winter brought fresh justice
Speaking of cold things, winter is here. No spoilers, but Game of Thrones’ bloodthirsty season six finale gave us many reasons to gasp and cheer, when Britain’s own outlook is feeling a little too … er, stark.
12. We can now grow food on Mars (maybe)!
Dutch scientists have successfully grown radishes, peas, rye and tomatoes in soil mixed to mimic the conditions on Mars, meaning future visitors to the red planet might safely be able to grow their own crops. In the meantime, let’s brace ourselves for an inevitable wave of “space salad” pop-up restaurants.
13. People are wearing a #safetypin to show solidarity with immigrants
Wearing #SafetyPin in solidarity with those from all over the world who make our NHS tick-intolerance to hate & fear pic.twitter.com/OEKSrcXknp
— Alexander Gates (@dr_alex_gates) June 29, 2016
In response to a 57% rise in reported racially motivated crimes since the referendum, people have begun pinning an empty safety pin to their clothes as a signal that they’re a “safe” person and an ally for the UK’s foreign-born population. It’s small, but it’s something.
14. London now has an autism-friendly restaurant
Veggie restaurant The Gate has been named the UK’s first autism-friendly restaurant by the National Autistic Society. Offering accessible features including an illustrated pre-visit guide explaining how to book a table, arrive at the restaurant, order food and pay, a chill zone for anyone needing time alone, and an autism-friendly picture menu explaining all of the ingredients used in each dish, its two London branches are hoping to help autistic guests have a less stressful dining experience.
15. David Tennant reading out people’s tweets to Trump
The former Time Lord might not have the power to take us back to last Thursday, but he did appear on Full Frontal with Samantha Bee, lending his luscious brogue to the task of calling Donald Trump a “ludicrous tangerine ballbag” and a “witless fucking cocksplat.” Visit Scotland couldn’t have asked for more.
