In our fast-paced world, text messages have become a primary mode of communication, perfect for quick updates and casual chats. However, their convenience can be a double-edged sword, especially when it comes to making promises. The informal nature of texting can lead us to make commitments without fully considering the legal and personal ramifications. Let’s highlight eleven things you should never promise in a text message, as these casual agreements can sometimes be legally binding. Understanding these risks can save you from future headaches, financial loss, and damaged relationships.
1. Promising to Repay a Debt
A casual text saying, “I promise I’ll pay you back the $1,000 next month,” can be used as evidence against you. While it may seem informal, a text message can be considered a written record of your intent to repay. This creates a digital paper trail that a creditor could use in small claims court to enforce the debt. It’s far safer to discuss financial matters in person or through a more formal, detailed agreement. Avoid making a legally binding promise in a text message.
2. Agreeing to Major Contractual Terms
Never agree to significant contractual terms, such as the sale of a car or scope of work for a home renovation, via text. A message like, “Sure, $15,000 for the car sounds good, I’ll take it,” could be interpreted as acceptance of an offer, forming a contract. These agreements often lack the necessary detail and protections that a formal contract provides, leaving you vulnerable to disputes. Always insist on a comprehensive, written document for any major transaction.
3. Forgiving a Significant Loan
On the flip side, a text stating, “Don’t worry about the money you owe me, it’s forgiven,” can be a costly mistake. This seemingly kind gesture can be legally interpreted as a waiver of your right to collect that debt in the future. Should your financial situation change or the relationship sour, you may have no legal recourse to recover your funds. If you truly intend to forgive a debt, it should be done thoughtfully. It is not a promise in a text message you should make lightly.
4. Making Confidentiality Pledges
Promising to keep a secret via text (“I swear I won’t tell anyone what you told me”) can create an expectation of confidentiality. If you later reveal that information, it could lead to severe personal conflict and damage your reputation for trustworthiness. In professional settings, a breach of a texted promise of confidentiality could even have legal or career repercussions. This blurs personal and professional lines and is a dangerous commitment to make.
5. Committing to Future Employment
Texting a potential employee, “You’ve got the job, we’re excited to have you start Monday,” can be construed as a formal job offer. If the company later decides to go in a different direction, the candidate may have a claim against you. They could argue they relied on your promise to their detriment by quitting their previous job, for example. All official job offers should be communicated through a formal offer letter that outlines all terms and conditions.
6. Agreeing to Waive Your Legal Rights
Be wary of any text that asks you to give up a legal right, no matter how casually it’s phrased. A landlord texting, “If you can pay late, just agree you won’t sue if the heat is slow to be fixed,” is trying to create a binding agreement. A quick “ok” from you could be used to argue that you waived your right to a habitable living space. Never make a promise in a text message that signs away your fundamental rights.
7. Promising to Co-sign a Loan
Agreeing to co-sign a loan for someone is a major financial decision that should never be made lightly. A text like, “Yes, of course I’ll co-sign for your car loan,” can create a strong moral and sometimes legal expectation. The person may take financial steps based on your promise in a text message. Before making such a commitment, you need to fully review all loan documents and understand your responsibilities. You will be 100% responsible for the debt if the primary borrower defaults.
8. Making Unconditional Promises to Children
Parents often text, “I promise I’ll buy you that new gaming system for your birthday,” to their kids. While this isn’t a legal issue, it can be a relational one. To a child, a promise is a solemn vow, and breaking it can erode trust and create deep disappointment. Financial situations can change, so it’s wiser to use softer language like, “I’ll try my best.” Avoid making a solid promise in a text message to a child.
9. Admitting Fault in an Accident
After a car accident or other incident, never admit fault in a text message. An emotional “I’m so sorry, it was all my fault” can be used by insurance companies or in a lawsuit to assign liability to you. Stick to the facts when communicating about an incident and let the professionals determine fault. Admitting guilt in writing, even a simple text
10. Agreeing to Custody or Visitation Changes
Modifying a legal custody agreement requires a formal court order. A casual text, “Okay, you can have them this weekend instead of me,” might seem fine for a one-time swap, but it can cause problems. If one parent consistently agrees to changes via text, the other parent could later argue in court that these texts establish a new status quo. All permanent changes to custody should be formally documented and approved by a judge.
11. Promising Gifts in Exchange for Something
Texting, “I’ll give you my grandfather’s watch if you help me move,” creates a verbal contract that is now in writing. If you don’t follow through, the other person could have a legitimate claim against you for the value of that watch. This kind of casual bartering via text can easily lead to misunderstandings and disputes. If you want to offer something of value in exchange for a service, have a clear, unambiguous agreement.
Think Before You Text
The fleeting, informal nature of text messages makes it easy to type out promises without a second thought. However, these digital words can carry significant weight in both personal relationships and legal settings. Before you hit send on a promise, take a moment to consider the potential consequences. A little bit of caution can prevent a great deal of conflict, misunderstanding, and legal trouble down the road.
What’s the biggest promise you’ve ever made or received via text message? Share your experience in the comments below.
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