Listen, like many of you I love Michigan State football. Love it. Love the program, the stadium, the passion, the games; all of it.
I am going to pause here for just a moment to reiterate that. I LOVE MICHIGAN STATE FOOTBALL. Ok. Moving on!
Sometimes that love manifests itself in frustration over annoyances in the pursuit of perfection. And that’s not fair. It’s not fair to expect the program or the team to be perfect. In life or sport the pursuit of perfection is one that will always come up short. Because, as we all know, nobody or northing is perfect.
But still, there are headaches. Repeated, nauseating, “Why the hell are you even still doing that? Get that play out of the playbook!”headaches.
And this is the place for those.
This isn’t a message of hate for Michigan State football. It’s a love letter. It’s a love letter in disguise. And hey, nobody else is going to get this loosely-based-on-Shakespeare 90’s teen comedy movie word play out there, so it might as well be me.
So here are ten things I hate about Michigan State football, all coming from a place of love.
1. Routes short of the sticks on 3rd down
The. Worst. I can’t even count how many times Michigan State has had a 3rd and 7 and completed a five-yard crossing route only to get tackled a yard short of a first down. It is infuriating. In some ways the fact that Keshawn Martin and ONLY Keshawn Martin used to pick up these first downs all the time probably set the offense back years. “Hey they used to work when we threw it to Keshawn Martin.” THAT’S BECAUSE HE WAS KEWSHAWN MARTIN STOP DOING THAT!
2. Jet sweeps to the short side of the field
The worst logic in the history of football is that teams run sweeps to the short side of the field because the shorter distance makes it easier for blockers to get to their spots and execute. Great in theory, horrible in practice. The theory is clearly outweighed by the facts that A. Big guys blocking little guys in space is really hard and B. There’s not enough room for the ball carrier to run when we send all of the big guys to this little space. Be smart. When attacking with speed, the more room the better.
3. The wildcat
Burn this formation. Rip all of the wildcat plays out of the playbook and set them ablaze in a glorious and cleansing fire. I know it is still going to happen, but I’m going to about die the first time MSU trots out the wildcat next season and promptly runs an option play up the middle for no gain on 3rd and 1.
4. 3rd down and 2 speed options
Yes, you’re correct ready, there are a lot of offensive plays on this list. No shock there. This is another consistently called play that drives me insane. It works in spots, but running it one very third-and-short is going to get the QB killed. And pitches are so unnecessary on 3rd and short. Run a zone read! It works better, your QB gets hit less and the odds of fumbling are way lower!
5. Punting in opponents territory
This one is just an ignorance of math and I get it. Football hasn’t taken to math kindly. And there are certain situations with fluctuating variables, score, weather, opponent, time left in game, where it makes sense to punt a the opponents 43 yard line. But, dammit, I’m so tired of seeing Michigan State punt on 3rd and 5 in plus territory while down 7 in the third quarter. Sure, sometimes it feels like the best chance for MSU to score is when the defense is on the field, but if you have a bad offense, limiting the amount of time they get the football isn’t a smart way to score more points.
6. Blitzing works. Let’s do that more
This is a newer one since the departure of Pat Narduzzi, but doesn’t it feel like MSU doesn’t blitz enough? As good as the defense always is, there are times when they can snuff out teams late and instead can’t get off the field on 3rd down. This team has always lacked elite edge rushers that can really get after the QB and while Kenny Willekes is good, you need more than just one guy. MSU has always generated pressure with blitzes and it feels like they don’t do it enough. I think it has been two years since we’ve seen the double A-gap blitz.
7. Why can’t our kickers kick it far?
A smaller complaint, but having a max field goal distance of 45 yards is unsettling. In the college game accuracy of kickers is very important and I’m glad MSU has gotten accurate kickers the last decade, but man, I get nervous any time one of our kickers trots out for anything over 40 yards.
8. Just give us a damn Gruff Sparty helmet already
Seriously. This one is easy to fix. It would be a 100% grand slam win in the uniform department. And after the latest neon debacle, we could all use that.
9. Trying to run the ball 40 times because of wins
Dantonio loves to say that they try to run the ball 40 times a game because they have a very good record when they do that. That’s true. But unfortunately here, correlation does not mean causation. MSU doesn’t win a lot because they run a lot. They run a lot because they win a lot. When you’re leading the entire second half, you run the ball more to keep the clock moving. It’s pretty simple. There is no magic “run the ball X amount of times and the odds are you’ll win more” equation.
10. Just blow a bad team out one time
Just one time. Seriously. I’m tired of narrowly escaping a game with a 3 point win when we were up 17 going into the 4th quarter. It’s the worst feeling in the world watching Rutgers just haaaang around. Just beat bad teams by 35 once in a while.
