Before I became a mum, there was so much I just didn’t know...
How much my mum loved me
All of a sudden, every stress you put her through comes flooding back. You see it all from her perspective and you’re just so sorry!
That I could happily do a poo with an audience
How did I ever poo leisurely? Or alone?! You wait until the very last moment and get it done in seconds. Your new world permits no leisure poos.
That I could survive on no sleep
Zero! Like three broken hours a night, for over two years. Doing a full day of work enduring pain like I’ve never known! I even got a promotion!! HOW?!
READ MORE: 'It’s so important to talk to all children regularly about their mental health'
That I could lose my entire identity and how long it would take to build a new one
I remember feeling so so lost. So tired, sore and overwhelmed. I wasn’t me at all. A new me was needed. But I resisted the change for far far too long. I so wish I’d embraced the brokenness of myself and been kinder and softer with myself. Maybe then I’d have realised that I had to purposefully rebuild myself, piece by piece, much sooner.
How hard mums work
The emotional labour is relentless! How much did he eat? Has he done a poo? Slept enough? I need to get all these dishes done before I can even make myself something to eat. I need to call the car insurance company, pick up a birthday card and get cash out for the window cleaner. Your entire brain consumed by endless tasks and lists. So if you see a mum scrolling on her phone for five minutes of relief, don’t think bad of her. Buy her a coffee!
That I would ever have a full blown argument with a toddler in a supermarket
I remember I’d planned to make cakes after work/nursery. Sonny was super tired but I couldn’t see that because I was too focused on us having “quality time”. Cue a full stand off in the Asda, with me screaming “can you please just stop being a d**khead? we’re about to have fun!”
That I could rap
No, I know he absolutely shouldn’t be watching 8 Mile! (he did used to request we fast forward the snogging bits). But he loved it soooo much!! We ended up going to see Eminem at Twickenham and it was the best night of our lives! Way more fun than being dragged to Disney On Ice, in my opinion.
That Sefton Park playground is full of hot dads on a Sunday morning (you’re welcome)
And they will chat you UP!! Pretending they’re doing the “hard graft” when you know they’re really just getting out the way while mum does a big clean and gets a roast on.
That everyone’s pretending to be happy
Mums lie. All that “perfection” and looking like they have their s*** together… It’s blag. I need you to know that before you beat yourself up for not “enjoying every moment”.
That holidays could be exhausting
Making memories with your little one is magical. But being abroad with a toddler is a colossal task. So much danger everywhere and not a moment's peace! Holidays can be hard work and far from relaxing. I wish someone had told me sooner.
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