Navigating adulthood comes with its own set of challenges, but for many adult children, one of the most exhausting parts is having to explain their choices, over and over again. Whether it’s about career paths, living arrangements, or financial decisions, adult children often find themselves justifying their lives to parents, relatives, and even strangers. This constant need to explain can be draining and sometimes even strain family relationships. If you’re an adult child, you’re probably nodding along already. If you’re a parent or loved one, understanding these common frustrations can help you support the adult children in your life more effectively. Here are ten things adult children are tired of explaining, along with practical advice for everyone involved.
1. Why They Aren’t Married Yet
Adult children are frequently asked about their relationship status, especially if they’re not married by a certain age. The pressure to settle down can feel overwhelming, but the reality is that people are marrying later—or not at all—for many valid reasons. Some are focusing on their careers, others are prioritizing personal growth, and some simply haven’t found the right partner. Instead of asking, “When are you getting married?” try asking about what’s making them happy right now.
2. Their Career Choices
Whether it’s switching jobs, pursuing a non-traditional career, or working remotely, adult children often face skepticism about their professional paths. The job market has changed dramatically, and so have the definitions of success. Many are choosing careers that align with their values or offer better work-life balance. Instead of questioning their choices, offer encouragement and ask what excites them about their work.
3. Living at Home (or with Roommates)
With rising housing costs and stagnant wages, more adult children live at home or share spaces with roommates. This isn’t a sign of failure—it’s often a smart financial move. Nearly one-third of young adults live with their parents. Open conversations about finances and independence can help reduce the stigma.
4. Not Having Kids (Yet or Ever)
Questions about starting a family can be deeply personal. Adult children may be delaying parenthood for financial, personal, or health reasons, or may not want children at all. Respecting these choices means understanding that family planning is a private matter. Instead of asking when they’ll have kids, focus on supporting their current goals.
5. Their Financial Decisions
From student loans to budgeting, adult children are often grilled about how they manage money. The financial landscape is different from it was decades ago, with higher education costs and a more competitive job market. Instead of offering unsolicited advice, ask if they’d like to discuss their financial goals or challenges.
6. Mental Health and Self-Care
Mental health is finally getting the attention it deserves, but some older generations still see therapy or self-care as unnecessary. Adult children are tired of explaining why they prioritize mental health, take mental health days, or seek therapy. Support means listening without judgment and recognizing that mental well-being is just as important as physical health.
7. Setting Boundaries
Adult children are learning to set boundaries with family, friends, and work. This can be misunderstood as being distant or ungrateful, but boundaries are essential for healthy relationships. Instead of taking it personally, ask how you can support their need for space or independence.
8. Their Lifestyle Choices
Whether it’s diet, exercise, or hobbies, adult children often face questions about their lifestyle. Veganism, minimalism, or even choosing not to drink alcohol can spark endless debates. Respecting these choices means accepting that everyone’s path to happiness looks different.
9. Technology Use
Adult children grew up with technology and use it for everything from work to socializing. Older generations may see this as excessive or antisocial, but for many, it’s a lifeline. Instead of criticizing screen time, ask about the apps or platforms they find most useful or enjoyable.
10. Redefining Success
Success looks different for everyone. Adult children are tired of explaining why they don’t want the traditional markers of success, like a big house or a fancy title. Many value experiences, flexibility, and personal fulfillment over material possessions. Celebrate their achievements, whatever they may be, and recognize that success is personal.
Embracing New Definitions of Adulthood
The world has changed, and so have the expectations placed on adult children. Families can build stronger, more supportive relationships by listening, respecting boundaries, and embracing new definitions of success. Adult children aren’t asking for approval—they’re asking for understanding. When we stop forcing them to explain every choice, we open the door to deeper connection and mutual respect.
What’s something you’re tired of explaining as an adult child? Share your thoughts in the comments below!
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