Marriage is a lot more than just love and shared dreams. You have to learn how to manage money as a team and figure out what it takes for you to thrive as a family. That said, what works for one couple might not work for the next. However, there are some red flags that all financial advisors agree need your attention sooner rather than later. Here are 10 marriage and money practices you may want to reconsider.
1. One Partner Controls All the Money
When one spouse handles all the financial decisions without input from the other, it’s a major warning sign. Financial advisors caution that this imbalance can lead to power struggles and mistrust. Both partners should understand the household budget, debts, and long-term goals. Transparency builds trust and ensures both are protected if anything happens. Shared financial responsibility helps couples stay on equal footing.
2. Keeping Secret Accounts or Hidden Debt
Some spouses open credit cards or maintain savings accounts without telling their partner. This is called “financial infidelity,” and it’s more common than you’d think. Advisors warn that secrecy around money can quickly erode trust in a marriage. Whether it’s a hidden loan or undisclosed spending, the truth usually comes out—often in the worst way. Openness and honesty are essential for healthy financial habits.
3. Avoiding Budget Conversations Altogether
Many couples avoid talking about money because it feels awkward or leads to arguments. But ignoring finances doesn’t make the issues disappear. Advisors say that not budgeting together is one of the most overlooked financial red flags in marriage. Couples who don’t plan together often find themselves stressed about bills or unprepared for emergencies. Scheduling regular money check-ins can make a huge difference.
4. Living Without an Emergency Fund
Living paycheck to paycheck with no savings can strain even the strongest relationships. Financial advisors emphasize that emergencies—like medical bills or car repairs—are inevitable. Without a shared savings plan, couples may argue about who’s to blame or how to cover the cost. It’s a stress test that most relationships fail. Building an emergency fund together is a smart, stabilizing move.
5. Prioritizing One Income Over the Other
In some households, one spouse earns significantly more and uses it as leverage in decision-making. Advisors say this creates unhealthy power dynamics and resentment over time. Every contribution—whether financial or household-related—deserves respect. A marriage isn’t a competition; it’s a partnership. Dismissing one partner’s efforts can be a subtle yet harmful financial red flag.
6. Disagreeing on Major Financial Goals
If one person dreams of early retirement while the other wants to spend freely now, that’s a problem. Financial advisors stress that couples must align on long-term goals. Disagreements about buying a home, having kids, or saving for retirement can cause division. Planning together ensures you’re working toward the same future. Otherwise, money becomes a wedge instead of a tool.
7. Borrowing Money from Family Without Discussion
Accepting or giving money to family members without talking it over is a recipe for trouble. Financial advisors frequently see this create tension, especially if one partner feels blindsided. Even small loans can cause trust issues if not handled jointly. Couples should agree on boundaries when it comes to financial ties outside the marriage. Unity in decision-making avoids resentment later.
8. Relying on Credit for Everyday Expenses
Using credit cards to cover groceries or monthly bills isn’t just unsustainable—it’s a red flag. Advisors caution that this practice often signals deeper financial problems, like overspending or income imbalance. If both partners aren’t aware or in agreement, it becomes a ticking time bomb. Couples should aim to live within their means and tackle debt as a team. Long-term reliance on credit breeds stress and blame.
9. Making Large Purchases Without Talking First
Buying a car, expensive tech, or even booking a trip without your spouse’s input is a trust breaker. Financial advisors call this a control issue and a sign of deeper disconnect. Even if you think you’re “surprising” your partner, unapproved spending often leads to arguments. Major decisions should always be mutual. Respecting each other’s opinions prevents future fallout.
10. Refusing to Discuss a Prenup or Estate Plan
Avoiding conversations about prenuptial agreements or estate planning doesn’t make them irrelevant—it makes you vulnerable. Advisors note that even couples deeply in love should plan for every scenario. Not doing so can leave one partner financially exposed in the event of divorce or death. It’s not about pessimism—it’s about protection. A good plan shows love through preparation, not avoidance.
Strong Marriages Are Built on Financial Honesty
If one (or more) of these scenarios hits close to home, don’t worry. You aren’t alone! More couples than you think engage in many of these practices. While they may be considered red flags, many couples might not realize the long-term damage it is doing. The good news is that all of these issues are fixable. You just need to focus on open communication. And, in some cases, you may need to look for expert advice. It all depends on how you handle things together.
Have you spotted any financial red flags in your own relationship, or successfully overcome them? Share your thoughts and tips in the comments to help others navigate the same challenges.
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