Late-night hosts looked into Donald Trump’s excuses for not attending a Super Bowl where he would be booed and the dubious audience scores for the Melania documentary.
Seth Meyers
With the Super Bowl just days away, Seth Meyers looked into why Donald Trump, usually one for attention, does not plan to be in attendance. “Given Trump’s love of football and attention, you might have expected him to show up to the Super Bowl on Sunday, especially since he went to last year’s Super Bowl,” the Late Night host said.
But Trump has told reporters that he won’t attend the game because it will be played in Santa Clara, California, outside San Francisco, which is “just too far away”, though he acknowledged that he had received “great hands [at] the Super Bowl. They like me,” he said, adding that he “would go if, you know, it was a little bit shorter”.
Meyers was not convinced. “It’s too far away? You know you have your own plane, right? Like, we weren’t expecting you to pile into a station wagon with Eric, Don Jr and Melania.
“Trump’s excuse doesn’t track,” Meyers continued. “This is the same guy who has done multiple trips to the Middle East and Asia, but San Francisco is too far away? Or is it because they won’t give you a dumb gift for making the trip? Because we know you love a dumb gift.
“I wonder if it’s because there’s another reason he might not want to attend a football game in the current political climate,” he added before showing a clip of Trump being loudly booed by the crowd at an NFL game at Maryland’s Northwest Stadium in November.
“Of course Trump is worried about getting booed,” Meyers noted. “His approval ratings are at all-time lows, his party is getting shellacked everywhere.”
Stephen Colbert
On the Late Show, Stephen Colbert continued to track the fallout from the latest batch of Epstein files. “Trump is so eager for this to go away,” he said, that on Wednesday, when asked about the files at the Oval Office, the president answered: “I think it’s really time for the country to get on to something else. Now that nothing came out about me … but I think it’s time now for the country to maybe get on to something else.”
“Yes sir, I think it’s time to turn the page,” Colbert mocked. “Unfortunately, you’re on the next page too. You’re on like 5,000 of the pages.
“Trump really wants us to stop talking about his former best friend’s international sex crime documents,” Colbert added, “which is why when CNN’s Kaitlan Collins followed up on that initial question,” Trump lashed out and said: “You are the worst reporter. CNN has no ratings because of people like you.
“I don’t think I’ve ever seen you smile,” Trump continued. “I’ve known you for 10 years. I don’t think I’ve ever seen a smile on your face … You know why you’re not smiling? Because you know you’re not telling the truth. And you’re a very dishonest organization, and they should be ashamed of you.”
As Colbert noted, “not only is that disgusting and misogynistic, but it’s also a bit of a tell – ‘Uh, Mr President, what do you say to the accusations that you mistreat women?’ ‘That girl’s fugly and I hate her.’”
But according to JD Vance, Trump’s comment that Collins didn’t smile enough was “actually, like, so perceptive”.
“He’s got a point,” Colbert quipped. “No, folks, he’s got a point! It is perceptive of the president to recognize that when he’s in the room, women don’t smile.”
Jimmy Kimmel
And on Jimmy Kimmel Live!, the host fixated on the “rigged outcome” dogging our times: the box office performance of the Melania documentary, which made over $7m on its opening weekend, against a budget of $75, including marketing.
“Sources say there were signs that blocks of tickets to Melania were purchased and then distributed to Republican activists and senior citizens’ homes,” said Kimmel, citing a Daily Beast report. “Which are really the same thing.
“Imagine those poor senior citizens,” he added. “‘Good morning, Mrs Greenwald. Here are your heart pills and here are your liver pills. And here’s a pair of tickets to Melania.’”
Kimmel noted that the film has a 5% score on Rotten Tomatoes, which is “very low. To put that in perspective, that is 1% lower than Gigli,” he said in reference to the 2003 Bennifer box-office bomb.
But “the audience score is 99% positive, which is 1% higher than the Godfather,” he continued. “And I’m sure Donald J Corleone had nothing to do with that at all.”
Given that, Kimmel requested a box office recount. “Send in Tulsi Gabbard and the FBI!” he joked. “Seize the ticket machines, the popcorn buckets, the box office receipts at every multiplex in America.”
