CHAOS AT THE COTTAGE
While the bulk of Fulham’s support is comprised of working-class folk who like a pie and a pint of foaming shaft as much as the next match-goer, the club’s Thames-adjacent postcode of Craven Cottage means fans have never been able to shake their undeserved reputation for being a bunch of well-heeled, upper class popinjays with more of a predilection for half-time hummus washed down by a flute or two of expensive champagne. Their case certainly isn’t helped by the fact that the Fulham ticket office is invariably the most obliging port of call for foreign tourists hoping to tick “Attend A Premier League Match” off their bucket lists, or that the ground’s go-to celebrity camera cut-away during televised games is the raffish fop and professional posho that is acting’s Hugh Grant.
In what looked like a cynical attempt to lean into their status as the quintessential club for football fans with no particular interest in actual football, last season Fulham threw open the doors of their new Riverside Stand. While the club’s owner, Shad Khan, described this giant overpriced hospitality suite, which just happens to have pitch-facing seats tacked on to one side, as “a location like no other, a real game-changer for Fulham Football Club”. It immediately became the butt of jokes that high rollers who paid through the nose to wine and dine in its many posh eateries would not have to sully their eyes by looking at the pitch, when the windows opposite offered a far more aesthetically pleasing view of the River Thames.
Even the most diehard Fulham fan in what pass for the cheap seats could have been forgiven for averting their gaze from the farce unfolding before them as Manchester City took a 5-1 lead against their team with less than an hour of their Premier League encounter gone last night. They could scarcely have imagined that the rout they were witnessing would end with most of the assembled 26,700 viscerally roaring on the home side only to see them come up this short of rescuing a point, in what would have been one of the most extraordinary top-flight comebacks of all time. “It was impossible for me to enjoy it,” said Pep Guardiola, after seeing his team come within a late Josko Gvardiol goalline clearance of total humiliation. “At 5-1 maybe, but at 5-4 I was watching the clock more than the game. It was tough and it would have been tougher if we could not get the result, but I will remember I was there.”
Last night’s match will also live long in the memory of City striker Erling Haaland, who became the fastest player in Premier League history to score 100 goals, achieving the feat in just 111 games. “It’s huge and I’m really proud,” he said, upon obliterating Alan Shearer’s record of almost 30 years by 13 games. “It’s a massive thing, the 100 club is a nice thing to be in and I’m happy.” Of course, while Football Daily has no wish to fully rain on the Norwegian’s parade, it behoves us to at least drizzle upon it on behalf of those forgotten strikers who plied their trade before the invention of football in 1992. While Haaland’s extraordinary achievement makes him the quickest player in Premier League history to score 100 goals, he is only fifth on the all-time English top-flight list. Were they still alive, Sunderland’s John Campbell (102 games) and Dave Halliday (103), Everton’s Dixie Dean (105) and Arsenal’s Ted Drake (108), would almost certainly want a word.
LIVE ON BIG WEBSITE
Join Rob Smyth for live Premier League updates from Liverpool 3-1 Sunderland (8.15pm GMT kick-off), with Daniel Harris on Premier League clockwatch duty from 7.30pm.
QUOTE OF THE DAY
“It’s one of the most magical nights we’ve lived, one of the best nights of my career. Thank you very much to these people who have come to support us. At this point, some of us have been playing for the national team for 13 years and never imagined this. It says a lot about what we’ve done for women’s football in Spain. We’ll continue to inspire girls and boys to fight for their dreams, which sometimes come true” – Alexia Putellas was overwhelmed by the support from a record 55,843 crowd for a Spain home game in the 3-0 Women’s Nations League final win over Germany.
FOOTBALL DAILY LETTERS
Re: John Collins (yesterday’s letters), while a Keith v Kevin fixture remains in the realms of fantasy, the Finnish top flight has regularly seen Haka play Honka – David Wood.
If Keith ever end up in the same league as Harris FC, they would presumably be playing the Orville derby” – Phil Taverner [seriously, can we make this happen? – Football Daily Ed].
Bonnyrigg Rose’s relegation from Scottish League Two means no more meetings with Clyde FC, often abbreviated to ‘Bonny v Clyde’ on TV live scores – Geoff Williams.
Pouring out a pint of Newcastle Brown Ale to Football Daily for your correct prediction of a 2-2 draw with Spurs – Dedric Helgert.
Pep Guardiola has finally reconnected Manchester City to their spiritual past. Specifically 2001 to 2005 and the glory days of Keegan-ball – Darren Leathley.
Send letters to the.boss@theguardian.com. Today’s letter o’ the day winner is … Phil Tavernier, who wins a copy of Mary Earps: All In. It caused a bit of a stir, you may remember.
MARVIN HINTON (1940-2025)
Chelsea are mourning the passing of Marvin Hinton, the cultured defender who won three trophies in a 13-year spell at Stamford Bridge between 1963 and 1976. A versatile and progressive defender, “Suave Marv” played as a centre-back, sweeper and right-back for the Blues, making 344 appearances. Hinton helped Chelsea win the League Cup in 1965, then came off the bench against Leeds in both the 1970 FA Cup final and replay. He also scored a rare goal in Chelsea’s run to European Cup Winners’ Cup glory the following season. “I would think it is no good just kicking it, I liked to pull it down and shuffle it, pass it, get it back again and then set them off,” he said of his playing style. Truly a man ahead of his time.
RECOMMENDED LISTENING
Catch up with the latest edition of Football Weekly here, as Max Rushden, Barry Glendenning, Will Unwin and Jonathan Liew review the latest Premier League action. David Conn also joins the panel to discuss Tuesday’s IOPC Hillsborough report.
IT’S FUN TO STAY WITH F.I.F.A.
With Friday night’s Geopolitics World Cup tombola almost upon us, the big question everyone is asking is who the hell are England going to draw is going to perform for Gianni Infantino, Donald Trump and co? Well, the court jesters for this particular politically charged shindig have now been plucked out of the velvet bag – and what a surreal sonic experience awaits us. The Village People, Andrea Bocelli, Robbie Williams and Nicole Scherzinger will twirl, warble and jiggle for the Fifa bigwigs (if they are finished gorging themselves on the buffet’s selection of high-quality cured meats, of course). The world at large may even see Trump perform his YMCA dance. We’re not sure our eyes can take that. Oh, for the days of more simple entertainment at a draw. Where’s a tipsy Rod Stewart when you need him?
NEWS, BITS AND BOBS
Cristian Romero scored twice to earn Tottenham a 2-2 draw with Newcastle, the second an overhead shin-kick. “It was a beautiful goal,” crooned the hot-shot defender.
After netting Everton’s winner against Bournemouth, doe-eyed Jack Grealish said he “loves the manager to pieces.” To which a smiling David Moyes retorted: “I don’t know if I like that. Players didn’t used to like me.”
In his quest to turn football into rugby, Mikel Arteta’s latest wheeze is fashioning Declan Rice into a trebuchet. “Things have to be trained, evolved and tweaked,” said Arteta of his plan to deploy Rice’s long throws against Brentford.
Arne Slot has admitted feeling unease at dropping Mohamed Salah despite his side digging out a 2-0 win at West Ham. “It is not a nice thing for him, not for a Liverpool fan and not for me,” Slot whimpered.
Unai Emery says Ollie Watkins has been struggling with knee-knack since the start of last season and may need a period of rest. “He is not feeling 100% and we are trying to manage it with him,” the Aston Villa manager sighed.
Strasbourg have suspended captain Emmanuel Emegha for one game for not respecting “the values, expectations and rules” of the Ligue 1 club. The striker has already agreed a move to Chelsea next summer.
Ruben Amorim has sort-of defended Leny Yoro for his glum reaction to getting the hook against Crystal Palace. “He thinks too much,” trilled the Manchester United manager. “It shows he cares.”
Sarina Wiegman’s Lionesses will be going for a Euros hat-trick in Germany after it was awarded hosting rights for the 2029 tournament.
And finally: Afcon on free-to-air TV! Channel 4 will show the entire tournament live, so get ready to argue that, yes, Cameroon v Gabon on Christmas Eve is essential viewing.
RECOMMENDED SHOPPING
Need a Christmas gift for that special football-obsessed person in your life? Well the Big Website Bookshop has loads of great reads available. You can even just treat yourself. Get shopping here!
STILL WANT MORE?
Big Website’s top 100 countdown continues, reaching the chart spots your indie favourites once strived for, just outside the top 10. Chloe Kelly, Lucy Bronze and Khadija “Bunny” Shaw all feature in our latest batch.
Has a player ever been shown a second yellow card on their way to being substituted? The Knowledge knows.
Sunderland are a throwback to an era when promoted teams could thrive in the Premier League, writes Harry Paterson.
And with Inter Miami facing Vancouver Whitecaps in Saturday’s MLS Cup final, Alex Abnos takes a look back at Lionel Messi and Thomas Müller’s previous matchups.
MEMORY LANE
17 May 2010: Did any one watch this? We didn’t and apparently we missed out on “alternative insight and reaction in a summer-long party”. Oh yeah!
