Life before Cookie Lyons was meaningless. Each week, hip-hop drama Empire has become more soapy and outrageous, just like Taraji P Henson’s hustler-mama of a character. Cookie has passed on her wisdom in one-liners, flashbacks and knowing looks, so as the season finale hits E4, let’s take a look at what we have learned.
Always own the room
Cookie knows how to make an entrance. One of life’s gatecrashers, she’ll turn up at just the right moment and own the room. Don’t ever try to have a board meeting without her. Or a romantic date. Or a party. Because she’ll storm in without knocking, usually shouting: “Loo-seee-us.” And then she’ll own the room. That’s not to say she doesn’t know how to make an exit, too, as she demonstrated after mistaking dinner with Lucious for a date. Upon leaving, she jiggled her suspender-clad derriere at her horrified love rival, proclaiming: “Oh, and Anika, this is an ass.” That is class, more like.
Move on, move on up
Spending 17 years in the slammer for drug dealing has its disadvantages. Cookie missed watching her boys grow up and only survived by listening to Elle Dallas’s (Courtney Love) music, but the minute she was released, the well-groomed heroine was back in business. Did she emerge from the gates in drab orange overalls? No she did not. Cookie busted loose in clinging leopard print, fur and the biggest hoop earrings known to woman, and headed straight to Empire Records to claim what was hers.
You can never have too many outfit changes
Cookie gets the best lines and the best wardrobe on Empire. The leopard and fur theme stays with her from the first episode and you could say there are times when Cookie channels Lil’ Kim. But it’s more likely that Lil’ Kim channels her.
Be direct
“You want Cookie’s nookie? Ditch the bitch.” As ultimatums to persuade your ex-husband to dump his much younger girlfriend go, it’s pretty direct. But that’s Cookie’s style. When Lucious got his handsome security guard to ban her from the building, she opened her leather-clad legs and invited him to “Take these Cookies”.
Throw stuff
Drinks, stilettoes, shade: if it can be thrown, Cookie is the woman to do it.
There’s no filter in Cookie-land
Political correctness is for other people. “For a queen, you sure do keep a messy place,” she said when she turned up at Jamal and his boyfriend’s flat, fresh out of prison. “You need to get La Cucaracha to clean up around here a bit.” The best insults are reserved for nemesis Anika. Sometimes in Cookie-speak she’s “a fake-ass Lena Horne/Halle Berry,” but mostly simply “Boo Boo Kitty”.
Mama knows best
Cookie is making up for lost time on the mothering front, advising Hakeem on how to rap and who to date. That’s when she’s not beating him with a broom. She knows a hit when she hears one, so she’s masterminding Jamal’s career too. Oh, and she’s not afraid to match any artist shot-for-shot and then stagger home afterwards. A true matriarch and a fine example of womanhood.
