Graeme Swann, usually perkiness personified, almost played the role of the old pro yesterday, sneaking vital wickets on a day when England's pacemen sweated buckets for any reward. However he did confess to "running around like an idiot again" when he found himself on a hat-trick for the second time in his three-Test career.
Swann can now claim to be the most effective English spinner ever at the Rec, by a massive margin. Admittedly the competition is not severe. Swann snaffled five wickets. "Maybe it helped that everyone was so preoccupied by the ridge", he said after guessing that his inclusion here might have been down to the fact that he had bowled well at Andrew Strauss in the nets on the day before the game, bearing in mind that the West Indies have so many left-handers.
Before yesterday England's spinners had taken only five wickets in the six matches since the side first played Test cricket here in 1981. The squeamish tweaker should look away now since some of those figures are grotesque: those five wickets cost 653 runs. In the past all the valiant English spinner has acquired after hours of toil has been a cricked neck as he tries to follow the flightpath of the ball after impact with a West Indian bat.
John Emburey was the first victim in 1981 (0-85) and 1986 (3-176). On his second visit the ball kept disappearing down St John's High Street as Viv Richards raced to his 56-ball hundred. The observation that Emburey should feel honoured by such a hiding from Richards, since the Master Blaster only tended to assault bowlers he rated, seemed to offer the Middlesex spinner, who prided himself on his miserliness, scant consolation.
Emburey's former colleague, Phil Tufnell, also played two Tests here, and on both occasions left the island without reward. In 1994 and 1998 he dutifully propelled a total of 74 overs, which yielded 207 runs and no wickets. Much easier, Tufnell later discovered, to earn a living trying to get out of some godforsaken chunk of land in Queensland. If Richards had been Emburey's nemesis, then Lara was Tufnell's.
In 2004 Lara was still tormenting English spinners. Gareth Batty was the unfortunate this time. Ashley Giles had the good luck to be injured. Batty only played seven Tests for England so it did not help his modest record that one of them was in St. John's. He toiled for 52 overs, took 2-185, as Lara amassed his quadruple century.
But Swann commanded rare respect yesterday. He had the advantage of some "scoreboard pressure" and there was also the bonus of the absence of Richards and Lara. He bowled admirably. He does not quite possess the classical action of Panesar, who spent the lunch interval under the supervision of England's multi-national bowling gurus, Mushtaq Ahmed and Ottis Gibson. But Swann has the traditional spinner's nous.
Swann did things that Panesar can't do. He changed his pace cleverly often taunting the nightwatchman, Daren Powell, who was steeling himself not to wind up massively against a gentle, inviting off-break. He tossed the ball higher still, seeking to seduce him into an indiscretion. But Powell would not be lured. But the specialist batsman could be as Swann's patience outlasted that of Devon Smith. The little left-hander, who had played so decorously, suddenly swung wildly at an ordinary off-break and missed.
Swann' s quicker delivery - no, not his doosra - eventually accounted for Powell. Then Ryan Hinds received a birthday present from Umpire Koertzen. He could have been lbw from the first ball he received. Swann remained phlegmatic and restrained where Panesar has often been increasingly frenetic in recent times. Oh for the referral system. But Swann was at pains not to rile an umpire, upon whom he would have to depend later in the match, very old pro-ish.
Strauss removed him from the attack quickly after a little flurry from Ramnaresh Sarwan, who cracked one delivery into the Andy Roberts Stand. His figures were intact; he had a lot more bowling to do and Strauss wanted his off-spinner's confidence to remain intact as well. Not that Swann has ever lacked confidence.
And before long he was on a hat-trick. Mystifyingly Sarwan holed out to mid-wicket with a century in sight and Denesh Ramdin shovelled his first ball, a low full toss, straight back. When Sulieman Benn was lbw Graeme Swann, erstwhile England peripheral, had five wickets to his name on a pitch that had offered him minimal assistance. In the process he became without any argument the most potent English spinner ever to visit this country.
