So this, then, is indeed goodbye. We’ll see you for more Premier League clockwatches in August. We won’t be seeing Hull, Sam Allardyce, Didier Drogba, Frank Lampard, or even Steven Gerrard until his return on loan in January. It’s been rather fun and also quite funny – Liverpool seeing Gerrard off as only this Liverpool could; Didier getting his chairlift, Gutierrez’s magic moment. We’ll do it all again next season. Thanks for your excellent emails and tweets, and of course for reading. Bye for now!
Updated
For a final day that didn’t really contain any last-gasp drama or thrilling switchbacks, that was all quite eventful wasn’t it?
There’s some breaking news for you! I’m sure that decision had most definitely not already been made prior to today’s game.
West Ham have sacked Sam Allardyce
STATEMENT: The Club have begun the search for a new manager after deciding not to renew Sam Allardyce’s contract http://t.co/wHlHhyMLZE
— West Ham United FC (@whufc_official) May 24, 2015
Mark Turner wants more from Newcastle: “...Jonas will now punch Mike Ashley in the face while the whole of St James’ Park (no typo) is watching.”
Nick Jones reviews his season: “I’d give our season 8.0/10 Mr. L Scaggs. Stand by our man (Manuel Pelligrini). No, it was no 2012 nor 2014 - but as a City fan through the years...I bank this.”
Full-time: Hull 0-0 Manchester United
Sympathetic applause. A handshake for Steve Bruce from Ryan Giggs. Players not knowing quite where to put themselves. Always a bit awkward, but it had been on the cards since the 64th minute. Hull created enough situations to win, but it wouldn’t have mattered.
Still going at Hull....
Paul Devlin, again: “Re: my previous email, the aggregate score over the last two Liverpool games is 9-2. That is relegation form. Not top four. Maybe Rodgers is aiming for a p45, massive payout and retirement to Tahiti to work on the tan?”
Full-time: Aston Villa 0-1 Burnley
Out with a bang.
Full-time: Crystal Palace 1-0 Swansea
Marouane thrills the Faithful.
Full-time: Arsenal 4-1 WBA
Top marks, Theo.
Full-time: Man City 2-0 Southampton
Oh, Frank!
Full-time: Stoke 6-1 Liverpool
Oh, Stevie.
Full-time: Newcastle 2-0 West Ham
They are staying up! The roar is huge! Ashley is beaming! Jim Carver is the best coach in the league!
Full-time: Everton 0-1 Spurs
Perfect prep for the big one!
Full-time: Chelsea 3-1 Sunderland
Where’s Didier?
That Gutierrez moment though....what a turnaround in emotion at St James’ Park and a reminder that, even at Newcastle, football can be purely joyous and celebratory. I didn’t mention that his cross set up the first goal, too.
Vurnon Anita will have been mighty relieved, mind you...
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David Ospina has just flapped a Gardner shot onto the bar at Arsenal.
They have seven minutes’ stoppage time to play with there, too. Ouch.
Not surprisingly, the KC Stadium is now silent bar the ever-impressive noise from United’s away support.
Full-time: Leicester 5-1 QPR
Bye, QPR.
Goal! Chelsea 3-1 Sunderland (Remy 88)
Top poaching from Remy, who scores his second by getting across his man at the near post and jabbing home a ball from the left.
Goal! Manchester City 2-0 Southampton (Aguero 88)
They sign off in style, too.
Goal! Stoke 6-1 Liverpool (Crouch 86)
A very Crouchian goal, craning his neck to head in from 12 yards, and Liverpool’s embarrassment is compounded.
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Goal! Leicester 5-1 QPR (Kramaric 86)
It’s a rout at the King Power.
Goal! Newcastle 2-0 West Ham (Gutierrez 85)
That is just wonderful! Could not have been written any better! The ball is played to Gutierrez just outside the area on the left, he take a shot and it’s deflected in! Could there have been an apter goalscorer than the man who is – overwhelmingly and for good reason – the most popular player and at Newcastle. Truly heartwarming and they are staying up!
What is Vurnon Anita doing there? West Ham take a free kick short and he robs Aaron Cresswell....he runs clear, and Newcastle have three men in on goal! Anita is dead centre, surely he’ll just roll it past Adrian....but he tries to square it to his right and the keeper anticipates! He intercepts, and what a miss that was...
Hull come close! Fine play by Elmohamady, a cross half-cleared to Hernandez, but he can’t make good enough purchase and the shot is blocked.
West Ham don’t look remotely like scoring, but I was MBM-ing Southend v Wycombe yesterday and consequently take nothing for granted.
Meanwhile. Aaron Ramsey has hit the post in an altogether quieter second half from Arsenal.
Long delay as McShane receives treatment. If West Ham do find something at Newcastle, it could make for an incredibly tense ending.
Red card! Marouane Fellaini!
What an awful tackle. Fellaini, who only came on a short while ago, does get sent off – he chases a short pass that had put McShane in trouble, but the Hull man gets there first....followed by Fellaine, who goes studs-up and leaves him in a heap. That was terrible. Should be ten-a-side, as Hernandez should have gone just before.
Header over by Coloccini at Newcastle, where there’s little reason to be too nervy just now. But Rob Lee’s son, Elliot, is now coming on for the Hammers to replace Kouyate.
@NickAmes82 Victor Valdes showing today that United will be fine next season without De Gea
— Chase Lewellen (@ChaseLewellen) May 24, 2015
What do we think, team?
Hernandez has just punched Phil Jones in the stomach. If the referee had seen that....
Jelavic almost puts Hull right back into it! Aluko tricks down the right, pulls the ball across to the near post, sharp flicked effort from Jelavic and Victor Valdes is down superbly to save to his left!
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Odds on Gerrard scoring another four?
Goal! Chelsea 2-1 Sunderland (Remy 70)
Ok, the tempo has lifted enough for Chelsea to score. It’s Remy, it’s from 20 yards, and it seems to wrong-foot Mannone – via a slight deflection I think.
Goal! Stoke 5-1 Liverpool (You Know Who 70)
Yes, there you have it. Gerrard makes a Characteristic Lung-Busting Run From Midfield and slips the ball to Begovic’s right. The whole stadium gets up to salute him. Okay, you would have needed a heart of stone not to quite enjoy that.
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Hull bring James Chester off, and on comes Abel Hernandez. Sone Aluko replaces Dame N’Doye.
Not too much going on at Stamford Bridge, where the champions and Sunderland are operating at a snail’s pace, but Willian has just shot wide.
Aue keeper Martin Männel scored a wonderful header, but his team have still been relegated from 2.Bundesliga.
— Michael Yokhin (@Yokhin) May 24, 2015
Some of this in the next half-hour, please.
'F*** off Sam Allardyce,' being chanted by the travelling West Ham fans.
— Sam Cunningham (@samcunningham) May 24, 2015
Nice people.
Liverpool have just come close. Asmir Begovic has saved from Adam Lallana, who was through.
Final-day box ticked: the piece of inaccurate information from elsewhere that breeds a groundswell of false hope. Cheers start to ring around at Hull because....of what? Somebody seems to have told a porkie about events at Newcastle, because they still lead. But Hull are at least pushing hard now and N’Doye has guided a shot just wide from Elmohamady’s cross.
Goal! Crystal Palace 1-0 Swansea (Chamakh 57)
So much happened in the 57th minute that I missed this. But Palace lead, Pardew’s revolution is back on the rails!
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Sissoko’s leap for the goal, by the way, was superb. Make sure you see it later. He really *wanted* that.
Hull come close now as Valdes misses a punch and the ball bobbles around the line....but no home player can get onto it and it’s scrambled away.
Manuel vents: “Have you ever noticed how garbage Jordan Henderson’s set pieces are? I felt like I needed to tell someone.”
From Kari Tulinius: “Glad to see Cambiasso score. Signing him was such a delightfully audacious move by Leicester. If only for that I’m glad the Foxes stayed up. I hope Bournemouth do something similar, swoop in for Xavi perhaps.”
Xavi would have loved to, Kari, but he’s chosen the more noble option and gone to Qatar.
Stoke haven’t scored for a while. Which feels weird. But they have become the first side to score five against Liverpool in the league since 1992.
Goal! Arsenal 4-1 WBA (McAuley 57)
Right-sided corner and McAuley gets up highest to give West Brom their own 57th minute consolation at four down. What were the chances?
Goal! Leicester 4-1 QPR (Austin 57)
Characteristic fighting spirit from QPR sees Joey Barton centre for England’s Charlie Austin to convert.
Muted at Hull now. They need to score, but so do West Ham. They shouldn’t give up though – a goal for them would make things incredibly nervy a bit further north.
GOAL! Newcastle 1-0 West Ham (Sissoko 54)
St James’ has erupted!! A superb ball in from the left and Moussa Sissoko thuds a downward header past Adrian from 10 yards! An explosion of noise, and that could be that!
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Goal! Leicester 4-0 QPR (Cambiasso 52)
Four-nil! Quite the sign-off from Leicester, quite the hapless surrender from QPR.
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Goal! Leicester 3-0 QPR (Ulloa 51)
Three-nil.
Disappointing from Huddlestone....and then a sitter at Newcastle, as Janmaat does wonderfully down the right and lays it seemingly on a plate for Riviere, who just needs to make contact but completely misses his kick! How important could that be?
Daley Blind catches Tom Huddlestone late and it’s *just* outside the box. Dangerous free kick from Hull, who are being roared on.
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Darmstadt are a goal up now, incidentally.
Early corner for Newcastle, who have come out strongly. Colback puts it in from the right but Williamson’s flick on drops wide of the far post.
If this wasn’t all too much, here is a German update from Kevin Porter:
“Less than 20 mins to go in the 2.Bundesliga games and Darmstadt desperately need at goal at home to St Pauli in order to grab the second promotion slot. Ingolstadt are certain champions, but both Karslruhe and Kaiserslautern, one point behind Darmstadt and both currently winning, will leapfrog them.”
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Back underway!
Welcome to the Guardian’s exclusive MBM of Stoke v Liverpool.
So just to, like, focus your minds – as things stand, a Hull goal relegates Newcastle. Which is how things stood 45 minutes ago, but the margins for error are slimmer now.
Sally Officer offers: “Klopp for the Kop...in fact I’d take anyone right now, even Moysie. If this ‘team’ is playing for Rodgers, I’ll eat my hat...”
Typical Liverpool, hogging our attentions here – isn’t it, eh? There’s a relegation battle going on!
Michael Cosgrove writes: “You’d really have to have a heart of stone not to feel sorry for Gerrard. It was bad enough for him losing in his last home match last week, but today sees him going out for good with a whimper in an away stadium. Ah, but that’s football...”
To be perfectly honestly fairly frank with you Michael, I am a big admirer of Gerrard but I’m sort of done with it all now.
A joke from Scott Stricker: “If Liverpool play like this for much longer they are going to have to start offering 900,000 pounds a week to their fans to stay.”
Gareth Wilson wonders: “Is this a statement from Liverpool’s “players” prior to Brendan’s summit with FSG? Hard to see that they’re playing for him right now…..”
If they’d wanted him out, wouldn’t they have just hired an aeroplane and a banner?
Half-times!
Newcastle 0-0 West Ham; Hull 0-0 Man Utd; Everton 0-1 Spurs; Arsenal 4-0 West Brom; Stoke 5 (FIVE) -0 Liverpool; Crystal Palace 0-0 Swansea; Aston Villa 0-1 Burnley; Chelsea 1-1 Sunderland; Leicester 2-0 QPR; Man City 1-0 Southampton.
Quite a lot of fun so far.
From Paul Devlin: “I wonder how secure Rodgers really is. The lineup and performance today smacks of having given up.”
They do seem to have telephoned this one in, rather. I think they should cheer everyone up and bring Sterling on for Gerrard a few minutes into the second half.
Updated
Half-time at St James’ Park. Goalless. Not getting any easier, this.
Ander Herrera nearly has a big say in the relegation battle after McShane misjudges a ball from the left. He gets to the ball ahead of Steve Harper but can’t quite nudge it on target...
Goal! Stoke 5-0 Liverpool (Nzonzi 45)
This is incredible. They’re all going in for Stoke, and this one is a fantastic long-ranger from Steven Nzonzi! When on earth were Liverpool last five down at the break? Wow.
Updated
Juan Cuadrado does not get chairlifted off the pitch at Stamford Bridge as he succumbs to injury, to be replaced by Loic Remy.
Goal! Leicester 2-0 QPR (Albrighton 43)
Schlupp cuts back from the left, Albrighton arrives from the right and the free beers are going down even more satisfyingly.
Walcott nearly scores a fourth! His weighted effort from the edge of the box is millimetres wide.
Goal! Stoke 4-0 Liverpool (Adam 41)
My goodness! Adam, who has been in fine form recently, scores against his old club! He guides his effort past Mignolet, who doesn’t move!
Hull are pressing again now, but clear chances remain few and there are groans from the crowd when Quinn lays a pass back to Dawson inside his own half.
At Newcastle, Janmaat gets onto a left-sided cross at the far post but can’t control his header and it thunders well over.
Maybe Liverpool are just trying to give Gerrard the perfect send off by coming back from 3-0 down on day before 10th anniversary of Istanbul
— Tony Barrett (@TonyBarretTimes) May 24, 2015
Surely it’s what he would have wanted.
383 - Harry Kane's goal at Everton was his first for 383 minutes in the Premier League. Welcome.
— OptaJoe (@OptaJoe) May 24, 2015
I had really started to worry about Harry Kane.
Goal! Arsenal 4-0 West Brom (Walcott 37, hat-trick)
Santi Cazorla trickles a cross-shot across goal, Walcott reacts at the back post and taps it in from a yard! He’s scored his treble!
Updated
Goal! Chelsea 1-1 Sunderland (Costa pen 37)
To Mannone’s right.
Updated
Penalty to Chelsea! A foul by O’Shea on Cuadrado – no arguments really, though it was close to the edge of the box. Lift Didier back on!
Goal! Manchester City 1-0 Southampton (Lampard 31)
Narrative’s Frank Lampard scores! From an assist by Contract Rebel James Milner! The storylines!
Updated
It’s got a bit quieter at Hull after the excitement of those disallowed goals. Little goalmouth action. But they shouldn’t panic yet. Newcastle aren’t doing too much in the other game either and it only takes one chance...
This is nice though:
Chelsea players carrying Drogba off the pitch: pic.twitter.com/TEFp8COeLk
— Jack Pitt-Brooke (@JackPittBrooke) May 24, 2015
Goal! Stoke 3-0 Liverpool (Walters 30)
I think Gerrard might want to be chairlifted off at this rate....disaster from Liverpool here.
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In worse news:
Johnson with the assist for Fletcher, after Chelsea fans had, er, made reference to Johnson's court case. He gestures back at them.
— Miguel Delaney (@MiguelDelaney) May 24, 2015
“Scenes” at Chelsea where Drogba, in the 29th minute, is chairlifted off the pitch by Chelsea’s players. This is bizarre. I’ve never seen anything close to this. Ivanovic and Willian end up carrying him across the line, and crowd are on their feet, Abramovich is on his too, hands clapping above his head. Diego Costa comes on. That’s...errr...some send-off there, and quite a response to going a goal down!
Goal! Stoke 2-0 Liverpool (Diouf 26)
The lead is doubled! Liverpool will have a very early start to their 2015/16 season indeed at this rate...
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Goal! Chelsea 0-1 Sunderland (Fletcher 26)
Adam Johnson’s excellent corner from the right, a little flick off John Terry, a stooping header at the back stick from Fletcher! Surely the champions can’t lose on Drogba’s big day...?
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Tim Krul has just had to make a very good block from Stewart Downing. But none of that will matter unless Hull, who are pushing hard against United that had shown little, can score.
Goal! Everton 0-1 Spurs (Kane 24)
But the Dier-Kane axis works out this time. Dier’s outstanding cross from the right, Kane’s glancing header, lovely goal!
Goal! Stoke 1-0 Liverpool (Diouf 22)
The first salvo in a Europa-relevant game, and it’s a mistake from Simon Mignolet, who palms Charlie Adam’s shot into the striker’s path.
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Spurs are playing well at Everton, and Harry Kane was just inches away from converting an Eric Dier cross.
Angel Di Maria has a problem at Hull, and it looks as if he’s going off. Adnan Januzaj comes on.
And Hull now have another one ruled out! Two in as many minutes! I think it was Quinn who had the shot, and N’Doye gets a flick onto it and it nestles in the net. He’s definitely offside, but did he need to touch it? Quinn’s shot was going towards the target.
Ooooh, close again by Newcastle. Gutierrez has a shot blocked and it falls back to Daryl Janmaat, whose effort goes narrowly wide of Adrian’s right post. And Paul McShane has just had a close-range effort ruled out for Hull! Things might just be hotting up...
Goal! Arsenal 3-0 West Brom (Wilshere 17)
Crikey, that’s a lovely goal! Wilshere’s first goal since September comes after the ball is nudged back to him on the edge of the box – I think by Gabriel – and he cracks one left-footed into the corner.
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Goal! Leicester 1-0 QPR (Vardy 16)
England’s Jamie Vardy scores his first home goal since October, although QPR goalkeeper Alex McCarthy has really dropped one there.
Goal! Arsenal 2-0 West Brom (Walcott 14)
He’s unstoppable. Walcott seizes onto a loose ball in the box and prods it into the bottom of the net. He’s scored his fourth and fifth goals of the season.
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...which is well taken by Seb Larsson, but batted away by Petr Cech (another for the “goodbye” list, probably)!
West Ham have had 61% of the ball at Newcastle, but Newcastle have been the more threatening. Still could do with an early goal though. At Chelsea, Sunderland have a free kick just outside the area....
Travis Work is good enough to provide us with his musings on the season:
“As a Manchester United supporter I enjoyed watching the trials and tribulations of another transitional season. Di Maria and Falcao not so much.
“The relegation battle was far more interesting than the title race. That’s as damning a review as I can muster. Chelsea running away with it (and the whole “campaign” nonsense) was as boring as their play in the second half of the season.
“Maybe next year it will all come down to the final day just like in 2012.”
Charles Antaki on Walcott: “Good to see Theo Walcott’s recuperation is now complete; the two halves of his brain seem to have knitted back together, and not only does he get into a good position, but he actually gets an accurate shot away. Cue floods of goals (perhaps).”
Hull are exerting plenty of pressure and earn a corner after a clever short free kick. Brady puts it in and it’s glanced wide by Dawson.
Goal! Aston Villa 0-1 Burnley (Ings 6)
Too little, too late for Burnley but it’s a header from Danny Ings. Less good for Villa’s mojo before the FA Cup final.
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Goal! Arsenal 1-0 West Brom (Walcott 4)
A superb finish from Walcott, into the top corner from an angle! Great for his confidence, and theirs after a three-game drought at home.
Updated
And another one for Riviere! This time an acrobatic effort at the back post that doesn’t go at all far wide.
Now a chance for Newcastle, Riviere fluffing his lines after a good run from Sissoko down the right. That might have settled a nerve or two!
Meanwhile, West Ham have a penalty appeal at Newcastle as Mike Williamson has a nibble at Enner Valencia. Nothing doing but a few hearts were in mouths there.
Early chance for Hull! Dame N’Doye heads a Robbie Brady cross at Victor Valdes who, remember, is in goal for United today.
Here we go....
A huge roar at Hull as the teams line up to kick off. A nervous-looking Steve Bruce. That one gets underway 19 seconds before the one at Newcastle.
The teams are coming out!
Chelsea get a guard of honour from Sunderland. Hull and Newcastle are both out too. The atmosphere sounds rather louder at the latter.
Ric Arthur has a question about Arsenal:
“Where’s Rosicky? A marvellous player: I picked him for my Fantasy team on the basis of Wenger’s post game comments on Wednesday, but he is not even on the bench. Any news on this score?”
Fair question. I was in Wenger’s press conference on Friday, where there was an element of surprise at the announcement that Rosicky would be staying on for another year, and thought he had a decent chance of starting today.
As a Palace supporter I'd be absolutely delighted if Pardew took us to our record points total,while Carver takes Newcastle down @NickAmes82
— Curtley Oakley (@curtley69) May 24, 2015
Palace host Swansea today. It’s easy to forget that.
Mike Ashley is on Sky now! What is his ambition for the club? “Winning something. And I’m not going to leave until I do. Qualifying for the Champions League counts as winning something. Categorically, I’m not going anywhere until we win something.”
Going to be a long next decade or so up there.
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Have you enjoyed this season? Have you, really? I’m not going to judge you either way – but it’d be good to hear your highlights/lowlights. Get in touch.
Another good point from Liam Child:
“Brad Friedel not even on the bench? Clearly no sentimentality at Spurs. He would have been the oldest player in Premier League history if he’d got on the pitch today.”
Pochettino clearly leaving nothing to chance in Spurs’ desperate bid to guarantee a Europa League berth.
How tense will this afternoon get? It might depend to some extent on the atmosphere up at Newcastle – will the supporters rally round, forget their gripes and push their team over the line before letting rip once safety is assured? I suspect it’ll work out that way. It’d only make things worse to start off corrosively and they’ll know that, they’re not stupid.
All Leicester fans get a free beer at the game with QPR today. That’s a nice touch.
So much depends on Manchester United, doesn’t it? They should win at Hull – even on this season’s form. Will they be on the beach? Looking at that starting lineup, Louis van Gaal clearly sobered up quickly from his awards sesh speech the other day. Nothing looks amiss in there – it’s a strong team.
More on Newcastle here. It’s Louise Taylor with John Carver:
“I hope I’m smiling at 5pm,” said Carver. “But in a really strange way I’ve thoroughly enjoyed it. I really have. I think I got hardened up a little bit when Alan [Pardew] was here and he took a bit of abuse. I got used to it. I’m definitely a stronger person and better for it.
“Whatever happens after Sunday I’ll be better for it. If had the chance again, I’d do exactly the same and say: ‘Yes, I want this job.’ I’d just like to think I’d have a little bit more rub of the green, a little bit more luck and a little bit more fortune because the biggest thing is that I’ve thrown every single minute of my life into this. “
Mark Scholes emails with a Fair Point:
“No mention of (captain!) Lampard in the goodbyes text??? Where’s the love.”
My eyes had misted up too much when typing Gerrard’s name; I completely forgot myself. Mark is right though: Lampard’s long and distinguished Manchester City career comes to a close in the only way it could: with the armband.
It’s a bit strange, seeing Hull on the brink of going down. Not for the fact of it being Hull, but because they haven’t really been that awful throughout the season. They’ve basically suffered due to Leicester’s prodigious run and Sunderland’s recent pick-up. Hull haven’t come up with an answer, even though it seemed the signing of Dame N’Doye might be enough at one stage, and are paying the price.
That’s a lot of teams. Have a digest of it all and we’ll talk again in a couple of minutes.
Aston Villa v Burnley – teams
Aston Villa: Steer, Bacuna, Vlaar, Baker, N’Zogbia, Cleverley,
Westwood, Delph, Agbonlahor, Benteke, Grealish. Subs: Guzan,
Sinclair, Weimann, Hutton, Sanchez, Green, Robinson.
Burnley: Heaton, Trippier, Keane, Shackell, Mee, Boyd, Arfield,
Jones, Ulvestad, Barnes, Ings. Subs: Duff, Vokes, Kightly,
Taylor, Reid, Jutkiewicz, Gilks.
Referee: Mike Jones
Crystal Palace v Swansea – teams
Crystal Palace: Hennessey, Ward, Dann, Hangeland, Souare,
Puncheon, Jedinak, McArthur, Zaha, Chamakh, Bolasie. Subs:
Speroni, Campbell, Murray, Mutch, Lee, Delaney, Kelly.
Swansea: Fabianski, Richards, Fernandez, Bartley, Naughton,
Cork, Britton, Emnes, Dyer, Montero, Gomis. Subs: Grimes,
Rangel, Tremmel, Hanley, Fulton, Barrow, Gorre.
Referee: Craig Pawson
Arsenal v West Brom – teams
Arsenal: Ospina, Bellerin, Mertesacker, Gabriel, Gibbs,
Cazorla, Coquelin, Wilshere, Ozil, Sanchez, Walcott. Subs:
Szczesny, Koscielny, Giroud, Oxlade-Chamberlain, Ramsey,
Monreal, Flamini.
West Brom: Myhill, Dawson, McAuley, Olsson, Lescott, Morrison,
Yacob, Fletcher, McManaman, Berahino, Brunt. Subs: Baird,
Gardner, Ideye, Anichebe, Gamboa, Roberts, Palmer.
Referee: Mark Clattenburg
Leicester v QPR – teams
Leicester: Schmeichel, Wasilewski, Huth, Morgan, Albrighton,
Cambiasso, King, Schlupp, Mahrez, Ulloa, Vardy. Subs: De Laet,
Konchesky, Drinkwater, Hammond, Schwarzer, Wood, Kramaric.
QPR: McCarthy, Onuoha, Dunne, Hill, Yun, Phillips, Henry,
Barton, Fer, Austin, Grego-Cox. Subs: Murphy, Hoilett, Doughty,
Furlong, Comley, Petrasso, Kpekawa.
Referee: Michael Oliver
Man City v Southampton – teams
Man City: Hart, Zabaleta, Demichelis, Mangala, Kolarov,
Fernandinho, Lampard, Milner, Toure, Silva, Aguero. Subs: Sagna,
Kompany, Dzeko, Caballero, Bony, Jesus Navas, Jovetic.
Southampton: Kelvin Davis, Clyne, Fonte, Alderweireld,
Bertrand, Wanyama, Steven Davis, Long, Djuricic, Mane, Pelle.
Subs: Yoshida, Gardos, Ward-Prowse, Elia, Gazzaniga, Reed,
Targett.
Referee: Chris Foy
Everton v Spurs – teams
Everton: Howard, Coleman, Stones, Jagielka, Galloway, McCarthy,
Barry, Mirallas, Barkley, Osman, Lukaku. Subs: Robles, McGeady,
Kone, Naismith, Distin, Besic, Atsu.
Tottenham Hotspur: Lloris, Dier, Fazio, Vertonghen, Lamela,
Bentaleb, Mason, Dembele, Chadli, Eriksen, Kane. Subs: Soldado,
Yedlin, Vorm, Townsend, Stambouli, Winks, Onomah.
Referee: Jonathan Moss
Updated
Chelsea v Sunderland – teams
Chelsea: Cech, Ivanovic, Cahill, Terry, Azpilicueta, Mikel,
Matic, Cuadrado, Willian, Hazard, Drogba. Subs: Luis, Courtois,
Remy, Costa, Christensen, Boga, Solanke.
Sunderland: Mannone, Jones, Coates, O’Shea, Van Aanholt,
Johnson, Larsson, Rodwell, Wickham, Defoe, Fletcher. Subs:
Cattermole, Pickford, Reveillere, Graham, Giaccherini, Vergini,
Buckley.
Referee: Lee Mason
Drogba captains Chelsea.
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Stoke v Liverpool – teams
Stoke: Begovic, Cameron, Shawcross, Muniesa, Pieters, Whelan,
Nzonzi, Arnautovic, Adam, Diouf, Walters. Subs: Ireland,
Odemwingie, Wilson, Sidwell, Butland, Crouch, Wollscheid.
Liverpool: Mignolet, Can, Skrtel, Sakho, Moreno, Henderson,
Lucas, Allen, Gerrard, Lallana, Coutinho. Subs: Toure, Lovren,
Lambert, Sterling, Ibe, Markovic, Ward.
Referee: Anthony Taylor
Sterling is on the bench. What does it all mean?
Updated
Newcastle v West Ham – teams
Newcastle: Krul, Janmaat, Williamson, Coloccini, Dummett,
Colback, Anita, Riviere, Sissoko, Gutierrez, Cisse. Subs:
Ryan Taylor, De Jong, Gouffran, Perez, Cabella, Ameobi, Woodman.
West Ham: Adrian, Reid, Jenkinson, Burke, Cresswell, Song,
Nolan, Valencia, Kouyate, Downing, Cole. Subs: Tomkins, Jarvis,
Nene, O’Brien, Amalfitano, Jaaskelainen, Lee.
Referee: Martin Atkinson
Hull v Manchester United – teams
Hull: Harper, Chester, Dawson, McShane, Elmohamady, Meyler,
Huddlestone, Quinn, Brady, N’Doye, Jelavic. Subs: McGregor,
Rosenior, Bruce, Hernandez, Sagbo, Aluko, Robertson.
Man Utd: Valdes, Valencia, Smalling, Jones, Rojo, Blind, Mata,
Ander Herrera, Di Maria, Young, Rooney. Subs: Januzaj,
Lindegaard, van Persie, Fellaini, McNair, Blackett, Wilson.
Referee: Lee Probert
David De Gea is injured....will we be seeing him again?
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Hello!
I’ll say it again: “Hello!” You won’t hear that word again for a good little while, because today is all about “Goodbye!”. It’s sometimes a hard word to say, so let’s get used to it. Goodbye to this Premier League season, goodbye to one of its valiant strugglers against The Drop, goodbye to a couple of your favourite top-flight superstars...and probably one of its managers, goodbye to Spurs before they set off for Kuala Lumpur and Wednesday’s white knuckle ride against Malaysia XI.
Before we go any further, here are the bones from which this meat flakes. Today, all at 3pm, we will be digesting:
Arsenal v West Brom, Aston Villa v Burnley, Chelsea v Sunderland, Crystal Palace v Swansea, Everton v Tottenham, Hull v Manchester United, Leicester v QPR, Manchester City v Southampton, Newcastle v West Ham, Stoke v Liverpool.
In bold are the fixtures that might mean something.
The really interesting ones are, of course, Hull v Man Utd and Newcastle v West Ham. Here’s the deal: Hull win and Newcastle lose, and Hull stay up. Hull win and Newcastle draw, and Hull stay up. Anything else, and Hull go down. Newcastle, who would surely be on the way down if the season was a couple of weeks longer, hold the whip hand.
The Race To Avoid The Europa League goes to the wire as well. Fifth and sixth place will get in, and seventh will too if Arsenal win the FA Cup next week. Liverpool are fifth with 62 points, Spurs sixth with 61 and Southampton seventh with 60. Expect deckchairs to be moved repeatedly and Spurs to lose 2-0 at Everton.
Further goodbyes: Goodbye Steven Gerrard, although we did all this last week really and it feels a bit much to do it again; Goodbye Didier Drogba, although we did all this three years ago really and it feels a bit much to do it again; almost certainly Goodbye Sam Allardyce, unless West Ham tiki-taka their way to a hitherto unseen level of beauty against John Carver’s men, and even if they do then Newcastle are nothing to be measured against; Goodbye you, Clockwatch reader, for we shall not meet again in this admittedly niche context until August.
So let’s go out on a high! Send in your tweets, emails and the like, if your fingers aren’t too sore from all that nail chewing.
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