Emotional Jesy Nelson revealed that she cancelled Little Mix concerts because she "couldn't bear anyone looking at her".
The 28-year-old appeared on Loose Women today to speak about how she was finally able to accept herself after going through hell thanks to vile online trolls.
She first opened up about her traumatic experience after being thrust into the spotlight on The X Factor in a groundbreaking BBC documentary Odd One Out last year.
Speaking to the panel, she said: "Honestly I feel as though I was carrying this huge weight on my shoulders... and then I thought as soon as I did [the documentary] a huge weight came off my shoulders."
"A lot of people are ashamed to say that they're struggling," she said, admitting that she was one of those.
Reflecting back on her rise to fame in 2011 when Twitter began to become a bigger part of society, she explained that it was "really new" to all of them.
"I wasn't used to people having an opinion," she said. "It consumed me and I just believed everything that was said about me."
Opening up about the reason why she was constantly looking at the vile comments, Jesy explained she felt as though she was "trying to train my brain into seeing these things so it wouldn't hurt her anymore".
Jesy was "petrified" about the documentary airing as she feared that her story of trolling would "never go away".
However, in the long-term, Jesy said: "I think [it's made] people are a lot more aware of people's mental health."
Probed about how she seemed "so confident" on stage, Jesy responded that it was "all a facade".
"When you go on stage it's like a character you play," she said. "There were lots of times where I cancelled shows because I couldn't bear people looking at me."
Jesy bravely revealed in the BBC documentary last year that she wanted to end her life after receiving vile abuse from online trolls, including the controversial Katie Hopkins, after an X Factor performance in November 2016.
After starving herself for a week yet still being fat-shamed, Jesy's severe depression "spiralled out of control" and she described thinking: "What's the f***ing point?"
However, Jesy recently said that she was optimistic that she would, in years to come, think that she would think, "Jesus Christ, I actually looked bangin".
Speaking to The Sun, she admitted that she found the idea of loving herself "so f***ing hard".
She said: "I will never, ever sit here and say, ‘Oh my God, I’m so confident now, I love myself’, because I don’t.
"It’s just something that I’m working on and I’m accepting myself for who I am.
"I know I’ll never, ever be the same and feel the same about myself."
Jesy also defiantly hit back at Katie Hopkins earlier this month for trolling her over bikini pictures.
A defiant Jesy took to Instagram to share another snap of herself and wrote in the caption: "Have another one hun."
It comes just hours after Katie branded the star as "desperate" and "insincere" in a vicious tweet which was instantly slammed by fans.
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*Loose Women airs weekdays at 12.30pm on ITV
