It has taken me about three years to find a trench coat that didn’t make me feel slightly tense.
I’ve always been on the fence about the whole thing, if I’m honest. Are they a wardrobe essential that everyone needs to own? It’s always worth questioning the wisdom of so-called “classic” pieces — see also white shirts (never met one that didn’t make me feel like I needed to pair it with a grosgrain edged blazer and go to school in 1989).
Yet with the vague temperament of our increasingly clement winters, the trench has come into its own. In reality you probably won’t need anything much thicker until January if you’re wearing knitwear. Is dressing at this point in the year ever more than daily attempts at reducing eau de Tube?
I think I have pinpointed my — and these are very much personal — issues with trenches down to the uniformity of the whole look. Is it all a bit same-y Inspector Clouseau? Are we dulling our lives trotting about in the exact same beige coat as everyone else on a miserable rainy day on Moorgate?
What I don’t like about trench coats is their propensity to emanate buttoned-up tidiness. I tend to think people fall into two camps when it comes to neatness. Those who do up and those who scruff. Trench coats with their epaulettes and cinched waists can seem overly efficient, a bit bossy, slightly smug. But bear with me. Artful dishevelment is a growing movement. Crumpled is reassuringly in.
You might have been distracted by Paul Mescal’s Withnail-ish exposed hairy leg and slightly questionable mullet in the new Gucci campaign released last week, but note the rumpled trench, burst open, lining on full show. Taylor Swift has been wearing hers — a men’s dark checked number from Gant — falling off the shoulder on nights out with her new beau, some American footballer called Travis Kelce.
Of course if ever there was a bellwether on the trench, it’s always helpful to check in with Burberry. In Daniel Lee’s first collection as creative director, he presented them in spicy bright colours, unbelted, models hugging hot water bottles against their chests to hold closed. There was a cosy, off-kilter mood to it all. I’m into it.
What it’s definitely not about is anything too short or clipped. Those above-the-knee, tightly belted trenches are too prissy for this. Ideally you want something ankle skirting, with minimal hardwear. Avoid bulky epaulettes, and look for belts which tie up rather than buckle. Even better, get one without a buckle. Or without a belt. Given the eternal nature of the trench coat, there’s an abundance of second hand ones screaming out for a new home. Search for something with shades of the blousy Eighties — eBay is groaning with great old St Michael numbers. Consider sizing up if you can, and don’t pay more than £50.
Newer options are available if you’re inclined. I’m into an Arket one — again, no belt — that’s temptingly oversized with a gentle sloping shoulder and useful pockets on the front. I like the leather detail on the collar and cuffs, too. There’s also Cos’s checked one, which has a pleasingly pointed collar, single pocket and simple belt, which is a good take on the Taylor Gant version.
In that vein, I’m always open to a trench coat that isn’t beige. Groundbreaking! I love the simple lines of the cotton-coated Holin coat from the always covetable Studio Nicholson which comes in black and a sort of plummy-chocolate which is eminently chic.
I eventually fell for the charms of a Totême coat (£640, matchesfashion.com), which is one of those chic, minimally bent Stockholm-based labels. It’s double breasted but hasn’t got a belt, and I think critically, is a deeper more brown-y beige. Small shifts, but pleasing nonetheless.
Victoria Moss' Wish List
Cos
Checked utility trench coat, £225, cos.com
Maxi linen-cotton coat £249, arket.com
Studio Nicholson
Holin coat, £575, matchesfashion.com
Black cannage lambskin Miss Dior top handle bag, £3,200, dior.com
Russell and Bromley
Crown embellished trim loafer, £375, russellandbromley.com