According to my nark of a phone, my screen time exceeds five hours a day, with almost all of that spent on the internet. What a waste of a life. I could write about 10 books a year if I managed to knock that on the head. I’m struggling to think of any major benefits of my very-online life, beyond the fact that this article only took me about three minutes to write. Oh, and I met my husband on Twitter.
1. This guy’s aunt dying on Thanksgiving
I think I have watched this video more than a hundred times.
2. Maggie Smith on being recognised in public
Maggie Smith deserves to be a dame for this brilliant interview alone. She treats being being famous as a significant inconvenience and confesses she hasn’t seen a second of Downton Abbey. (Nor me.)
3. 7,000 fireworks going off at once
Happy 10-year anniversary to the greatest fireworks show in history, when San Diego accidentally shot off 7,000 fireworks at once.
— Chris Vannini (@ChrisVannini) July 4, 2022
🇺🇸🇺🇸🇺🇸🇺🇸🇺🇸 pic.twitter.com/qihO4zeXP3
An all-time classic of the internet.
4. Every best actress introduction at awards ceremonies
When you think about them, you realise that awards ceremonies are insane. This is a spot-on parody of that minute of squeaky-bum time waiting for the winner’s name.
5. Rita Ora and the dusty apple
It's giving... dusty apple🍑 @RitaOra #TheBigBreakfast pic.twitter.com/kJrkBXGo01
— Channel 4 (@Channel4) August 13, 2022
I live in mild fear of my career ending after saying something stupid on live television. This clip of Rita Ora on The Big Breakfast reassures me that most mistakes are survivable.
6. The memories live on
The Memories Live On: The greatest printing disaster in newspaper history. pic.twitter.com/9TSu5SfAYH
— Michael Spicer (@MrMichaelSpicer) March 5, 2018
A reading of the greatest printing disaster in newspaper history.
7. Fashion in Ireland
Props to anyone who tries to be fashionable in ireland i wore a red beret once in waterford and someone called me super mario
— Jane (@janky_jane) August 15, 2021
A thread of solid gold replies about peacocking in a world full of pigeons.
8. A movie trailer for every heist action comedy
It’s always fun to watch Hollywood tropes get a skewering. Also, I would absolutely watch this movie.
9. Angry People in Local Newspapers
How best to illustrate a news story about a mystery smell? Holding your nose and a magnifying glass, which is daft because the magnifier will only make the smell bigger. https://t.co/qcHGcAez8o pic.twitter.com/zIOVfVWIGZ
— Angry People in Local Newspapers (@angrypiln) January 28, 2024
The Angry People in Local Newspapers feed is a regular source of joy to me – from pensioners pointing menacingly at potholes to furious shopkeepers posing with overflowing dumpsters.
10. Ed Jones – guy who loves hosting has a birthday party
We all know this kind of person. Some of us live with them.
Adam Kay is performing This Is Going to Hurt as part of Melbourne international comedy festival until 21 April and at the Sydney comedy festival on 24 April
